I do not purport to make any sense at this point in time. I haven’t eaten very much, and tiny little beasts called viruses are currently attacking my body, but in the absence of school, I have a craving to write at the moment. Tonight my annual birthday bash took place, and it was a grand occasion consisting of much laughter, conversation about insect-murdering fungi, and celebration of Leonard Cohen’s singing. I’m really terrible at not gushing about my family, but I’ll refrain from too much discussion of how they’re my favourite people in the world. (But, just for the record, they are my favourite people in the world. I have so much respect, gratitude, joy, appreciation, and love for them. I’m pretty lucky that the coolest people in the world are my family members. OK, blathering flattery done.) While my family doesn’t have to buy me great presents in order to win my affection, they certainly do get bonus points for picking out some rather awesome gifts. On Monday, prior to my infection of the Virus of Unpleasantness, I was the recipient of a beautiful 30 GB iPod named Botolf and an accompanying case depicting two turntables. Pretty stellar. Subsequently, at this evening’s fête, I was made the owner of some fine poetry, an amber necklace, some incredibly amazing vintage vinyl (Leonard Cohen! Beach Boys! Simon and Garfunkel!), and a Polaroid camera. I have wanted a Polaroid for quite some time now, and can’t wait to get started on photo-taking adventures with Galileo the Polaroid; the colours that turn out on Polaroid film are incomparable. I do realize that it’s kind of ridiculous that I enjoy these material things so much, and I’m pretty sure that Jesus wouldn’t focus nearly as much attention on gifts as I do. Hopefully I’ll use these gifts to appreciate human creativity, God’s creation, and the beauty of art, music, and poetry. I think I’ve mentioned in the past a Bible study that my small group last year did on joy, and I do think that a certain enjoyment of the “stuff” of life helps me to acknowledge all the cool stuff that God’s created and hopefully allows me to focus on the awesomeness of all that He has made. Still though, it’s important for me to ensure that my love of iPods, books, and cameras never rivals my love of others and of God, which is something that is often tempting to do in our capitalistic society. As Richard Wagner said, “joy is not in things, it is in us.”
As aforementioned, I’ve been strangely sick since the evening of my birthday, and was especially ill yesterday after my exam and while shopping with Crystal. Luckily, Crystal took me home early from our Christmas mall excursion, and I managed to make it to the bathroom before I lost my breakfast (and lunch and dinner). I know that it’s kind of awful to ponder the subject of vomit, but I think there’s something kind of wonderful about vomit. Although Jess is horrified when I mention to this to her, the feeling experienced after some cathartic upchucking is quite lovely. After a few hours of nausea and anxiety about being sick, literally purging oneself of whatever was inducing the upset stomach is such a relief. While the catharsis itself is extremely disagreeable and humiliating, it’s definitely worth the reward of liberation from the experience of sickness. I think this is much like some more serious matters. Owning up to my sin’s isn’t always the most fun thing in the world, and yet I always feel so free and contented after I go through that sometimes painful ordeal of recognizing my inadequacies and failures. Being vulnerable with others is similar; saying something totally honest to another person can be scary and unpleasant, but it’s so worth it in the end, and can lead to really great things in the end. In my class on conditioning and behaviour, there was much discussion of self-control, and individual’s tendencies to sometimes pursue a very small reward if it took less work than a greater reward. Ultimately, it’s unwise for individuals to work for such a limited gain, but they do this over and over. I’m certainly prone to the same behaviour. It’s all too tempting to avoid building relationships with people who aren’t necessarily the “coolest” or most fun, but I’ve found that these friendships can be so very worthwhile. I can be annoyed when the recipe I’m making is excessively complicated and disastrous, but the tastiness of the food is usually proportional to the (figurative) blood and sweat put into it. It can be easy to rush through my devotions on a hectic day, but those days can be the ones that I get the most out of my devos, Shortsightedness and a lack of self-control often rob me of truly gratifying experiences, whether the reward of a deepened friendship or the righting of my relationship with God.
In addition to being the month of Christmas, the anniversary of my birth, New Year’s Eve, family get-togethers, snow fun, and days without school, December brings with it celebration of music from the past year, and anticipation of music coming up. The Arcade Fire has named its upcoming album, and has made its first single available via phone, and The Shins already have their video out for “Phantom Limb.” Intelligent music and intelligent dialogue about music are truly splendid, and these things abound in this last month of the year. Pitchforks “Best of 2006” lists served as incentives to me while I studied this past week. Jess finishes classes as of Friday, and I can’t wait to monopolize her time with amusing activities and enjoyment of her silliness. Two weeks of movies, walks, talks, and dancing with Jay Jay is sure to be fun. Plus, I got her two presents yesterday that I’m certain both of us will enjoy over the holidays. Christmas with my family is always special, and in the past we’ve made efforts to help those around us in addition to giving each other gifts, whether by giving gift money to charities, sharing our festivities to people who were alone over Christmas, or simply giving some time to those in need. This year, my mom’s side of the family are having Christmas with four refugees from Afghanistan and Pakistan, for whom this will be their very first winter in Canada. My Auntie Laura and Uncle Doug have been very involved in them making it to Canada, and it should be neat to learn more about their lives and their background and share with them our Christmas traditions. Last year, Laura and Doug brought a group of Asian students to Christmas festivities, and that brought with it many amusements (never try any dessert containing black rice; you will sorely regret it). On my dad’s side, we’ll be celebrating the 25th with a woman who has terminal cancer and would otherwise be quite alone over Christmas. We met her at Thanksgiving this year, and my auntie, grandma, and grandpa have been a real blessing to her over the past few months. I feel privileged to spend time with her over the holidays; she’s a beautiful woman who’s gone through so much hardship in her life, and I have loads of respect for her. She even got me presents for my birthday, which was ridiculously sweet of her. I feel blessed that my family demonstrates the true meaning of Christmas each and every year; it’s easy to focus less on presents and Boxing Day sales when I see human compassion and kinship so clearly in my family. I hope one day to be a bit like them.Symptoms of the Virus of Unpleasantness that I Will Self-Indulgently List
- dry skin
- runny nose
- sore throat
- coughing up of blood
- headache
- general fatigue
- strange delusions (as if there were normal delusions…)
- muscle pains
- sore lips
- vomiting
- no desire whatsoever to study for an EAS exam
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