We Have the Facts and We’re Voting Yes

I have the feeling that quoting the Death Cab album title above is more than appropriate for this week’s blog since I’ll likely be sympathizing with disenchanted emo Death Cab songs a great deal now with the advent of the new government. Fortunately, Harper has a pretty narrow majority, and will have to cooperate with the more moderate parties at least for the sake of optics. My primary concerns for this new government’s term are health care, childcare, environmental issues, and education funding, all of which have the potential to be severely harmed by the Conservatives. This is the first non-Liberal Canadian government in the duration of my real political consciousness, and I certainly feel trepidation as to the plans that it has for Canada. However, change was apparently fated after more than a dozen years of Liberal rule, and it definitely demonstrated that Canadians will not accept corruption and waste. My sister and I were cheering for the NDP to get enough seats to allow a coalition with the Conservatives with 155 MPs, but that didn’t quite happen, and it will be interesting to see what support Harper can garner from the other parties for his platform issues and promises.

Yesterday was a crazy day, exacerbated by the fact that I was facing the consequences of staying up until 4:00 and 3:30 on Friday and Saturday nights respectively at the C&C retreat (details to follow!). I had classes in the morning, work until 6:00, voting as soon as I got home (at least the NDP get $1.75 a year for my vote), and election coverage to obsess over in the evening. When I was walking home from work along Whyte, it struck me that while everyone might not be registered to vote, almost every person I saw on the avenue has their name in government records somewhere, and no matter what party won last night, each one of us has been protected, cared for, and educated by a Canadian government. While the parties might have their own group of citizens of a certain socioeconomic status whose interests they most concerned for, every MP who was elected last night does care. Although an MP’s salary is not ridiculously small, all of these elected officials could be making far more in whatever field they were once employed in, be it business, law, or civil service. Thus, their motivation to run is their desire to stand up for their beliefs, and whether I agree with those beliefs or not, that’s something to be respected.

Perhaps the greatest disappointment of the night was the loss of Ed Broadbent and Anne McLellan as strong voices in Parliament. I have so much deference for both of these individuals, as they have often stuck out like sore thumbs in Canadian politics. McLellan has been a strong voice for Alberta in the Liberal cabinet, despite being the only non-Conservative in Alberta this past term, and Broadbent has supported and initiated numerous shrewd ideas for this country throughout his political career. Despite not reaching a Broadbent-level of seats (43), the NDP have enough MPs in the House to make a strong case for the most important aspects of their platform. In Martin’s minority government at least, Layton was able to have a real impact on the policies that were enacted, and some compromise will be needed on the part of the Conservatives for the extent of Harper’s government. I’ll just have to stay über-positive about whatever happens in the next stage of politics, and write Rahim whenever I take issue with his party’s actions. I subconsciously even wore a green hoodie with an orange ponytail holder (NDP colours for those of you who somehow don’t know) when I went out to vote last night, as my sister noted before I set off. I suppose that in addition to bleeding my Eskies’ green and gold, I’ve got orange running through my veins. Some analogies are so odd! Anyways, as I was walking back from voting at St. Paul’s, I was filled with a sense of contentment and gratitude. Though I was quite sure that my dear Linda couldn’t take Rahim out (although it was close), it’s a beautiful thing that I have a voice in politics (albeit a small, one twenty millionth proportion of the electorate’s voice). It was heartening to hear that voter turnout was up a few percentage points this year to 64%; I was anxious that it might drop below 60% with the election being held in January and the previous election being only a year and a half ago. All of my friends but one who I talked to yesterday got out and voted, so perhaps there is hope to quell voter apathy after all, particularly the indifference of young voters.

As aforementioned, I just got back from the C&C retreat on Sunday night. It was a total blast, despite the deficiency of sleep and my face and eyes having a atrocious reaction to the chlorine in the pool on both nights (I’m severely allergic to it, even though its element symbol is the same as my initials). Not only did I get to hang with Crystal the whole weekend, but I also got to know some of other C&Cers better, and was able to spend some quality time with God and be encouraged that genuine Christian relationships can form outside of the small congregation at Zion (shocking, I know). Jess’ youth pastors were the speakers for the weekend, and really urged us to be real with others in the group and be serious about our commitment to it. There’s a ton of things that God said to me this weekend, and it was a truly rich time. Crystal and I had an incredible amount of fun eating two-bite brownies, acting like complete (and I mean complete!) goofs in the pool, discussing the pros and cons of various animals and foods, stamping, staying up late with some other folks, and enjoying the sessions. I feel seriously blessed that God placed my family in the wider church family of McKernan, and while I had totally trusted what He was doing in our lives when we made that difficult transition, I believe that I’m beginning to see His plans.

After I got home from the retreat on Sunday afternoon, we had dinner and a birthday bash for my auntie at my grandma’s (see the pictures--the rest of my family is too bashful to have their pictures posted). While it was nearly impossible to stay awake, I did it, and had a terrific time. Sunday dinners are almost always among the highlights of my week, with transcendentally delicious food, completely asinine games on exercise balls, and great conversations with my grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins. My family is absolutely one of the chief reasons that I love living in Edmonton so much, and why it would be tremendously difficult for me if I ever moved away. The unconditional love that a family has for each other totally mirrors the love of God, and there’s nothing like spending time with people who have both known me forever and know me sometimes better than I know myself.

Next weekend promises to be equally busy with Break Forth coming up (hip hip hooray for Break Forth!). I’m especially ecstatic to hear K. P. Yohannan, Tim Hughes, and Joyce Heron, all of whom I’ve really appreciated in the past. Jess and I are going to the Kutless concert on Friday night with some friends, and while Kutless is absolutely not my style, it should be great. When we went to the Newsboys concert last year with some friends from Zion, I was almost delirious from all the dancing and inanity by the end, despite Kevyn stuffing salty confetti in my mouth and chucking empty water bottles at my head. I can’t wait to spend those three days hanging with my family and friends at the Shaw and enjoying the speakers and worship. It’s a gorgeous day outside, so I’d better get out there for a walk. My hopes for snow are almost completely dashed at this point, but at least there should be some puddles to splash around in. At times this winter, it has certainly seemed as if spring was just around the corner, and now there are officially less than eight weeks before the vernal equinox!

Toodle-oo!

Nostalgia and Politics

Why can’t it be July already?

I feel like an inadequate Canadian for feeling this way, and I do truly love the winter, but at this particular moment I wish that the temperature outside was in the twenties. My sister and I were watching Garden State the other night (pictured in yesterday’s blog), and it really made me long for the days of summer. Jess and I obsess over watching movie trailers, and we were equally enthralled by the previews for Garden State and Napoleon Dynamite two springs ago when they were released. When we finally went to see Garden State when it came out in the summer, it was such an awesome evening. Not only was the film romantic, touching, and thoughtful, but when Jess and I left South Edmonton Common in the middle of the night, we had tons of fun skipping outside and laughing hysterically (although Jess became quite worried when we realized that we were going to have to transfer buses three times). There just seem to be moments like that every night in the warmer months. While we love boot skating at the rinks at McKernan, seeing who can make the bigger puff of breath-fog, and making IGA runs for chocolate and cheese buns, there’s something magical about the summer life that the city takes on late at night and the freedom to dance outside at 1:00 AM wearing just a skirt and sweater.

















Now that the Christmas is officially over, and the football season is long gone, winter has really set in. Although I love holding our fun Grammy and Oscar parties, consuming myself with the Olympics, and cross-country skiing, nothing can really compete with the plethora of fun that accompanies summertime. I’m especially wistful for Eskies games, outdoor concerts, thunderstorms, biking in the river valley, the ability to wear dresses, ice cream cones, chasing the police copter with Jess, festivals, reading on my front lawn, traveling, tennis, and longer walks at night. But, I do become my old Pollyanna-self when I consider the pleasures of reading with hot chocolate, hot baths, staring up at flurries until my eyelashes are covered in snow, and watching movies. It is totally true that the grass always looks greener on the other side; I have this idealistic image in my head throughout summer that I’ll be roasting marshmallows by the fireplace in my living room in the middle of January, when really I’m doing homework while eating an apple. As we learned in one of my psych courses, however, anticipation is often more that half the fun of anything (I suppose I’m just an excellent anticipator). Humans are particularly skilled at this hopeful expectation; indeed, no other animal (including primates) think abstractly about the future or past. I suspect that we await the coming days with such optimism not only because we have the intelligence to do so, but also because God created us with an underlying understanding that there is hope, in the form of salvation, in the future.

Left-wing politics are seemingly more and more hopeless for a lot of my Christian compadres. Issues like gay marriage and abortion seem to be their only concerns, but even the Conservatives have promised to do nothing about them! Abortion has not at all been an issue this election, and the Conservatives would not hold a vote on it (mainly because most MPs would vote in favour of abortion). As for gay marriage, Harper did promise to hold a free vote on the issue, but also promised that he wouldn’t use the notwithstanding clause, so gay marriage would remain in Canada. I fail to understand why one would vote based solely on these issues when all of the parties will enact the same result. See below (and yesterday’s blog) on more views about these issues. Childcare has also proven to be a big concern for Christians, many of whom feel that parents will readily send their children off to daycare without any thoughtful consideration, in the sole interest of saving money. The truth is that virtually all parents desperately love their children, and act to benefit their kids in everything that they do. Infants form attachments to their primary caregiver and the rest of their family within the first year and a half of their life, and sending a two-year-old to a high quality preschool absolutely does not cause any spiritual, emotional, relational, or cognitive deficits.

If we are willing to fund maternity “leaves” for parents of multiple years, regardless of whether or not they were employed prior to becoming pregnant, I think that would be fabulous. It would have negative consequences for our economy and government budget, but would be fair to both the children and their parents. The Conservatives’ proposed $1200 a year for young children is an absurdly small amount in comparison to what annual salaries might be for low-income parents including single mothers. I highly doubt that a little more than one thousand bucks will make a significant difference; if parents do choose to make use of childcare, at the very least, it would cost them about $30 every day (and that would be a subsidized daycare). Five dollars a day is barely a drop in the bucket compared to a minimum of thirty. We really have to accept the fact that there are some parents who must make use of daycare, and if we want to ensure that the experience of that child is the best it can possibly be, our government needs to fund that daycare appropriately.

I make it a point to talk about religion and my faith with my non-Christian friends, coworkers, and peers, and the chief difficulty that most of them have in accepting Christianity is our perceived hatred, whether of non-Christians, science, other societies, or secular culture. While it is certainly important for Christians to not be absorbed into Satan’s presence in some of these aforementioned areas, the idiom “love the sinner, hate the sin” (although I don’t like the word hate) has real merit. Jesus made a point of spending time with prostitutes, corrupt tax collectors (like the Liberals?), and the unemployed poor, and he showed anything but hatred for them. Jesus spent far more time rebuking a rich population that ignored the needs of the impoverished, and a group that was so concerned about their own money that they would use the church to make profits. He confronted the men who gave far less in comparison to the widow who tithed her last two copper coins, and instructed a wealthy follower to give all he had to the poor. Jesus never spoke about the need to neglect those experiencing poverty because of their laziness or ineptitude. In the parable of the prodigal son, He demonstrates God gives even when He knows that we will use these gifts foolishly, as many right-wing Christians perceive the poor to. Luke 12:15 reads, “Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; a man’s life does not consist in the abundance of his possessions,” and Acts 2:45 illustrates the compassion of the early church: “Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need.”

Rather than simply reproaching the woman at the well who had lived a sexually immoral life, Jesus ministered to her with wisdom and love. I really feel that the often-Christian sentiment that voting Christian means voting morally is an excellent idea, but the idea of morality is so often misguided. Morality entails much more than just sexual or reproductive choices, such as homosexuality and abortion. Morality is acting on what is right, and there are right and wrong choices to be made in regards to how one spends their money, acts towards others, and thinks about God, themselves, and others. It is certainly fair to say that some (albeit a select few) Liberals were unethical in how they spent some of taxpayer’s money (albeit a miniscule fraction of that money). However, I truly believe that it is more unethical for the more wealthy two-thirds of Canadians to hoard our money selfishly, without amassing any happiness, benefit to our character, or spiritual revelation.

Growing up in Alberta, there is no way that I could calculate the number of times that I’ve heard Christians argue their political views with phrases like, “the government doesn’t know how to spend my money better than I do,” and “I work hard for my money,” but these statements are so flawed. Every week in the Sunday service, we thank God for the abilities and health He has blessed us with before we tithe, but do most Christians really mean this? I hear a sense of entitlement when a fellow Christian tells me that their money should stay in their pocket because they deserve it; the truth of our lives is, however, that we don’t deserve the lives we lead, the blessings we’ve received, and the salvation we’re offered. God loves each one of His children, whether a homeless person (lazy or not), or the money-focused rich, and wants them to lead good, joyful lives that are guided by His will.

Although the Conservative platform has received the stamp of many economists (most of whom care about maintaining the wealth of themselves and their colleagues), it is ridiculous to suggest that simply because a budget is within the capabilities of the government it is inherently sound. A truly good budget would be creative, compassionate, and constructive (yay for the letter C!). Additionally, the commonly held belief that a voter knows how to spend their money better than the government does strikes me as being quite odd. How can a group of experts with excellent education, experience, and reputation in their respective fields know less about the most cost-effective and shrewd ways to use resources in those fields? Part of the argument (or perhaps the entire argument) for introducing private health care into Canada is that it would be more efficient, that the pressures of capitalism force administrators and employees to be economical.

However, as I’ve discussed in a previous blog, the government would be wise to find inventive approaches to social programs including health care, and certainly do implement innovations into the system through publicly-funded research and studies (such as the recent wait-time study in Alberta). Indeed, privately conducted procedures in the States like surgery cost more than twice the base amount of those in Canada. This is before more money is leaked out of the health care dollars for profits (I know I’ve blogged all of this before in more detail, but it’s quite important to me). Once we open up health care to private companies, there is no turning back because of our agreements in NAFTA; there’s no testing the water. The only benefit that would come to anyone at all in the establishment of for-profit health care into this country would be to the rich. Those with sufficient funds would have slightly shorter wait times (and I mean slightly; examine wait times in the U.S.), and would be able to make money off of the ailing (there’s something perverse about that).

In terms of military spending, the only role that I see for Canadian troops is peace-keeping, and going to war only when absolutely necessary, and only with the backing of others, such as the UN and our allies. I really see no threat to Canada in terms of war or terrorism in at least the next two decades. Canada is a highly peaceful nation, and with the exception of Hitler in the late 1930s, there have been very few instances in recent history in which a country attacked another without provocation. I truly feel that armies, guns, and war were so outside God’s plan for His children, and are often a tool of Satan. When we concentrate on conflict and our abhorrence for other groups, our vision of God and his love for every person (whether Hitler or Mother Teresa) is clouded. In the summer of grade 11, when I attended SUNIA (basically a glorified name for UN camp), I learned a great deal about the role of the First World and organizations like the United Nations in international affairs from the diplomats and delegates who were at the conference.

These men and women were entirely frank about the flaws and struggles of the UN, but were passionate supporters of global justice, peace, and equality. They have a vision that may not ever be achieved, but the hope that they had for this world was definitely encouraging, and exceptional for people entrenched in politics. A common perception of voting among Canadians right now is that their mark on the ballot represents their choice of the “lesser of many evils,” but that’s such a pessimistic, “glass half-full” view of politics. It’s really wonderful that we live in a society where we are able to voice our different visions for our nation, and I find it beautiful that so many of us care passionately about Canada. I’d like to think that my vote on January 23 will be for the “best of many goods” (as awkward as that sounds). Each political party wants to benefit others, although I certainly see some doing that more so than others.

Finally, the possibility that Stephen Harper would build strong ties with the American administration disturbs me immensely. It was brought up recently in a discussion on politics that simply because the U.S. benefits more from free trade than Canada does, there is no reason to renege on our agreements with them. However, to use the metaphor of a school playground, I would far rather befriend the abused victims of a bully and build a relationship with them than cooperate with the bully that uses the troubles of others to benefit himself. As previously explained in other blogs, America has repeatedly broken promises, used cheap labour to its great benefit, and created war where no war was necessary to remedy problems. It is nations like the U.S. that outwardly support initiatives like Live 8 and Make Poverty History, and act as if they are the saviours of the world when they invade other nations despite the calls of experts from most other nations and experts like Hans Blix. In reality, America has used struggling economies as investment opportunities rather than opportunities to make a difference. Instead of working multilaterally in the Third World, the U.S. has used tied aid and SAPs to further its own economy.

Alas, my clock is indicating that it’s time for me to hit the sack. Perhaps I’ll read a few more chapters of my book prior to falling asleep, but I doubt I’ll last very long. It’s been a long day, and I walked back and forth between home and campus several times today (far too much walking for a lazy Tuesday). To compound the exhaustion caused by walking, I’m listening to Daniel Lanois’ steel guitar right now, and it’s making my eyelids feel quite heavy. His mastery of the steel guitar inspires me to buy one (I’ve found a few online for decent prices), but I’m not really sure where I would store a steel guitar. For now, it will suffice to listen to “The Deadly Nightshade” and “Shine,” and just pretend that my guitar looks like a table top and sounds really twangy.

Sweet Dreams!

Joining the Bandwagon…But Not Always!

It was interesting to discuss conformity in my Social Psych class last term, especially because there was such a disapproval of the idea of conforming throughout my junior high and high school years. Of course, blindly following the pack is usually unwise, but social norms and our society’s implicit rules serve valuable roles. Not only does this day-to-day conformity improve our ability to make decisions quickly and efficiently (which side of a hallway to walk on, how to order a meal at Wendy’s, how to signal respect), but it additionally allows us to communicate gratitude, requests, and respect without much effort. On the other hand, the extreme conformism that occurs in adolescence is certainly illustration of conventionality gone awry. When we accept consensus blindly without any thought behind that acceptance, we often end up doing some very foolish things. In my psych class, we watched these hilarious clips from the ’60s version of Candid Camera where in one situation people would get into an elevator where people were facing the back rather than the front as they typically would. Everyone conformed to the group and faced the back of the elevator, and some even continued to imitate the group as everyone else removed their hats, turned around in circles, and made abrupt movements. It was priceless!


















The other clip was from an art gallery containing some abstract art, where the set up was that the subject (or victim perhaps?) was examining the paintings with an “expert.” This expert would tell the subject what the artwork was depicting, and the subject almost invariably agreed, despite no evidence of the boats, ocean, or people suggested in the painting. The clincher came when the expert would say that he’d just realized that the painting was upside down, and now saw different figures in the art, which the subjects willingly accepted as well. It’s quite frightening how much we will accept without serious consideration, simply because of their desire to consent or respect an expert’s opinion. Hopefully I’m not kowtow all of the time, but I think I can certainly fall victim to this tendency. This conformity has really ingrained itself into our society, and has allowed phenomena like group think to take place. Group think is basically what happens when a group that follows its leader unequivocally, dismiss outside opinions, and do not critically examine their own decisions. As my psych profs are all left-wing (yay!), we frequently look at the Bush administration as a strong case of group think. Not only has the U.S. become a place where phrases like “you’re either with us or against us” are acknowledged as sane, but it’s also a country where supporting the troops requires supporting the president, and analytical evaluation of this president’s actions is reserved only for “bleeding-heart liberals.”

Perhaps the coolest thing we learned in our discussion of conformity was the fact that Christians, especially Protestants, are far less prone to conformity to acts like violence and aggression that occurred in the Holocaust. Not that Christians are necessarily far superior to others in terms of our morality, but it was encouraging to hear that Christians are deliberate about their values, and at least try to conform to God’s will rather than their own or someone else’s. I try to be my own individual and not just go with the flow, particularly when it comes to stuff like what companies I support with my purchasing power and my beliefs about others and the world in general. I’ve always been a black sheep, particularly in Christian circles where I have left-wing views and like a lot of secular music and books. Not that I don’t consider or accept Christian views on politics or check out Christian music and literature (I do love authors like C.S. Lewis and bands like Delirious). I simply love a lot of stuff, and some of it is non-“Christian.” However, it’s definitely important for me to not get caught up in any anti-conformism rhetoric, because there are certain universal truths that most of us should and do accept, and some things and people that are so fantastic that most individuals, including me, should be able to enjoy them.

In my family, the latest conversation about conformity relates to the upcoming election (seven days left!). My mom tends to “join the bandwagon” when she votes federally, and thus votes Liberal because the NDP usually have no chance of electing a candidate, and the Liberal candidate is the only one with a chance of edging out Rahim Jaffer. My dad and I, on the other hand, refuse to let such strategy taint our vote, because democracy means voting for who you believe in, not necessarily the lesser of two evils. Thus, our votes seldom “count” in the grand scheme of things, but we have the satisfaction of having exercised our beliefs. This is why PR (proportional representation) is definitely something to consider. I really am in love with Canada’s political system; I love the fact that the MP for my riding will write a letter of congratulations to my parents when they have their 25th wedding anniversary, and come to talk to me during elections. However, with the onset of voter apathy and the growth of smaller parties in Canada, PR could have an important role to play in this century of politics. Layton has even proposed a form of proportional representation that would incorporate our ridings, so I’ve been mulling over whether I’d support this in a referendum or not (although I don’t think PR will have an opportunity to be put into place for quite a few more years).

For me, 2005 was a year of both conformity and nonconformity, a year that was challenging yet rewarding. Without doubt, the most visible change in my life was my family’s decision to attend another church. As most of you reading this know, I’d been at Zion (my old church) since I was born, and having my Grandpa as the pastor and an incredibly involved family, I loved (and still do love) Zion more than I can ever express. Our congregation was quite small (about 100 members), and a huge chunk of my life took place at Zion. I taught Sunday School, helped to lead youth group, sang in the choir, greeted, and took part in a ton of other church initiatives. I have a deep love for everyone I know from Zion (the entire church!) and it broke my heart when we left in January of last year. There are truly valid reasons why we left Zion, and why a lot of our friends (who were also leaders in the church) left after we did, but it was definitely the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do in my life. A part of my identity was removed; I no longer saw my Sunday School class several times a week, there was no Monday night choir practices anymore, and my church friends were now just friends who I got together with on the weekend. One of the hardest parts has been the fact that, while my grandparents were completely supportive when we decided to leave Zion in the summer of 2004, my grandma and grandpa were left to deal with the problems that the church was facing.

Our family was the biggest family in the church, with my aunt and uncle, grandma and grandpa, and my parents and sister, and when my aunt and uncle started going to Strathcona after we were attending McKernan, church was drastically different for my grandparents. My grandpa has been retired for more than ten years now, but was preaching sermons because of the transition that was taking place. It hurt my mom a lot to see her parents working through the mess at Zion when we had left them there, and while I see God working in the congregation at Zion right now, it seemed unfair for my grandparents to be facing this in their eighties. I still feel weird without that community, and while McKernan is slowly becoming a part of my life, I know that it will never be the same. Of course, God has worked through this shift in my life, and His purposes in this hardship are becoming clearer, but the differences between small and big churches are certainly marked. Everything from worship to bible studies still seem strange at times, and it’s bizarre not to know people who attend the same church as me. Attending McKernan has meant not conforming to my previous close mindedness when it came to big churches, but it has meant conforming to the Christian norm of being part of a large community.

Part of the difficulty of resolving to leave Zion was a result of the difficulty of discerning God’s will for that situation. Although our family and friends totally backed our choice, it didn’t feel right at times, and Scripture, especially Paul’s books in the New Testament, didn’t seem to endorse leaving a church at all. Rather, there were verses about working through strife in a Christian community and remaining strong in God through difficulty. God answered our indecision eventually, and made it clear that our spiritual lives would be bettered by this change, but this uncertainty about God’s plan was totally echoed in this passage from Mark that I read in my devotions recently. Jesus was praying about whether he should remain where he was and continue his ministry there, or move on. His disciples interrupted Him in the midst of prayer, and the commentary I read along with this passage suggested that Jesus’ reliance on God to make a decision demonstrates how we should make choices. Jesus listened to those around Him, but ultimately waited patiently on God to make things clear. There’s always a competing collection in my life, whether it be friends, family, the Bible, or what I see around me, but when I take these different perspectives to God, He has always come back to me with an answer. One of my family’s friends from Zion is so dutiful with this call that he prays before even buying a $10 book because he doesn’t want to make any decisions apart from God. While I’ve never felt convicted to prayerfully consider every purchase I make, it’s certainly a reminder of what to consider when making decisions.

I’m off to work right now, so I’d better post this soon. It’s been incredibly slow in the café recently, as it always is after New Year’s with people trying to wean themselves off caffeine and avoid desserts to meet their weight goals. Although it’s good to have some more time to clean and organize everything, time does go by much more slowly when there are not as many customers to serve. It’s quite odd going from the bustle of Christmas to the lull of January, but change is always welcome I suppose. Even enjoyable things become grating if they are enjoyed for too long; this snowless, mild weather we’ve been having has been lovely, but I’m beginning to want to go tobogganing and cross country skiing, both of which aren’t really possible in Edmonton right now. My dad and I were having a bet on how much snow we’d get this winter, and of course I was foolish and took the side of the Farmer’s Almanac (that we’d get a boatload of snow). It is always possible that a surplus of flurries will accompany the turn of the calendar when February comes, but I’m doubtful. On the bright side, I’ve only had to wear long johns to school twice this winter.

I hope at least you’re enjoying this weather!

Friday-Sunday Excellence

This weekend has been both crazy, and crazy good.

This blog entry promises to not be particularly interesting or original, so consider yourself forewarned! I’m in the midst of a insanely busy weekend, but the lunacy should end with the dawn of Monday tomorrow (I’m all about the synonyms for madness today: crazy, insanely, lunacy). I took this picture to show you how exceptionally tired I am; in total this weekend I've gotten upwards of six hours sleep, and it's definitely taken it's toll. I get quite pallid when I'm exhausted, so I need to take this as a sign to get some rest tonight (although staff parties tend to go late, so maybe I'll just sleep in tomorrow morning). Even my hair becomes frizzy when I'm frazzled (that was some super alliteration!). Essentially, I could be doing some reading, but I’m feeling quite lethargic, and would far rather spew my thoughts into my keyboard. Friday after I got back from school, I did some shopping, banking, and cleaning before going to Shine at 4:00. We went to supper at the Wendy’s/Timmy’s afterwards, where I had a delicious Frosty (mmmm!) and cheeseburger, and followed it up with bowling. My bowling game was decent, especially since it was 5-pin (I’m just miserable at 10-pin), but Sherry turned out to be an awesome bowler, and got almost double the rest of my team’s points without even trying! A group of us then went to West Ed to check out a movie, but they decided on Elizabethtown, which I’d already seen a while ago, so it was iPod listening on the Number 4 bus for me. Listening to my iPod was actually pretty embarrassing by the end of the night because I was checking out the latest Ricky Gervais (a brash British comic) podcast and was laughing excessively loud on the walk from 114th street to my house on 111th. By then, it was 12:30, so I think people passing by me totally assumed that I was drunk, but I’m horrible at suppressing my laughter, and really couldn’t help it.

Saturday I opened the café, and read a bit in the afternoon while doing a load of laundry. It was CSI night at C&C, which was quite enjoyable; there was full-fledged evidence collecting and interrogations, and it was great murder mystery style fun. It made me extremely nostalgic for all of my favourite classic detective TV series from my childhood (Murder She Wrote, Magnum PI, and the original Law and Order, Sherlock Holmes, Poirot, and Miss Marple). On another tangent, the new Miss Marple, sans cute chubby Miss Marple, is on CBC tonight, and I would highly recommend it if you’re at all an Agatha Christie fan. After snacking on some Nachos at Boston Pizza and dropping James off at Lister, Crystal came over and, while trying not to wake my family up, we did some chatting and web-surfing. So I didn’t get to bed until about 3:30, and was woken up at 6:50 by a phone call from Colleen (my fellow café-opening barista) asking if I could come in because she had an excruciating migraine. Of course, I was dead tired, but understanding the pain of migraines vicariously from my mom and sister, I had to come in and let Colleen get some rest. While at work, I had to phone almost the entire staff of our café to see if someone could come in at 9:00 so I could get to church, but Steph came through for me (shout out to Steph!).

The service this morning was excellent, as always, and the worship team had picked out some really great songs (fitting, because the sermon today focused on worship). Lyle spoke about true worship, and the worshipful sacrifice that our lives need to be to God. His sermon touched on the frequently duplicitous nature of our lives with that Sunday vs. the rest of the week contrast. Lyle illustrated this disparity with a story about his wife’s days as a waitress when the notoriously worst shift to work was after church; customers were rude, scrimped on tips, and were surely not good models of Christ’s love. A lot of my friends are aware of this hypocritical aspect of a lot of Christians, and it disturbs me that their perception of Christianity is tainted by our inconsistent actions. In the context of worship, this is most clear because we sing songs of our great love for God and gratitude for his grace, but despite singing songs about our willingness to give our lives up to Him, we act for our own benefit and don’t consider what our behaviour demonstrates about our faith to others. For me, this is where prayer is so important, because unless I pray regularly through the day, I can’t deliberately act in a way that pleases God. At least in me life, I’ve found that I need to be intentional about living out my faith and my love for God and others, otherwise I get lost in the bustle of the day and my own needs and perceived needs. Well, I’ve got a staff party to attend right now (we’re going to pig out on Chinese food and play some games) so I really must be going. Hopefully your weekends were equally fun, although maybe not so hectic as mine. Remember: it’s only one more exciting week of campaigning and struggling Liberals before we’re off to the polls!

Sayonara!

Some New Classes, Some New Lessons Learned

To all of you fellow students, welcome back to another semester!

Well, I’ve been back at it as of Monday, and I’ve survived Winter Semester 2006 so far. Weeks go by incredibly quickly during school, but it honestly seems like ages since I was on campus. One of the most excellent aspects of this back-to-school week is book shopping. I met up with my buddy Crystal inadvertently in the bookstore on Monday and it was so much fun to look over all the Arts books she gets to read this term (I admit it: while I love Sciences, I often wish I could do a simultaneous Arts degree). We browsed through texts on photography, abstract art, philosophy of religion, and sociology of gender, and it just struck me that there is sooo much that I still have to learn and enjoy in this life, and God knows all of it (and infinitely more). It’s certainly comforting to know that through God’s grace I’ve got forever to mull over everything that I find beautiful and fascinating in this world, and even the things that won’t become clear to me until I’ve left this world. There are just so many books to read, and so few reading hours in my life. I would say that I’ve come to grips with my mortality, especially being a Christian, but any bitter feelings I hold related to death stem from the limit it puts on the number of books, films, bands, and plays I will be able to experience in this lifetime. Perhaps heaven will have a huge library, and great concerts every night.

Here's my favourite piece of artwork from my bedroom; it's a painting that my parents' got just after I was born, and so I've been enjoying it for as long as I can remember. I do enjoy abstract art immensely! Sometimes I wish that my room was bigger solely because it would mean that I could put up more paintings on my walls. I'm so excited to get my own place in a few years; I plan to plaster the walls with cool art and photos, and perhaps even get a red concrete floor in my kitchen, although there will definitely be some shag carpet and cork flooring somewhere in my house. The only problem is that whoever I am rooming with may have their own style (in fact this is quite likely!).

My devotions yesterday asked me to write a list of questions that I have for God. Although I have a perpetual dialogue with God about moral dilemmas and confusing theological questions, I don’t always write them down. So several pages later, I felt overwhelmed with my uncertainty about everything. He totally spoke to me through that exercise though, and I recognized that just as I can lift up prayer requests to Him, I can leave my puzzled thoughts with Him as well. I suppose I’m very cerebral in terms of how much I consider things, and I am frequently annoyed by not knowing an answer to a question that I have, but I see God teaching me to trust his knowledge in some areas of my thinking. Especially in muddy areas like homosexuality, abortion, and war, I struggle to come to grips with what God is telling me. The Bible is clear about acting on homosexual impulses and killing (which most Christians believe includes pregnancy terminations), but there are areas of gray around these issues that I think about a great deal. It’s not that I don’t believe that these things are wrong, but I don’t understand how Satan is using them or how exactly God wants me to react to them. It’s not that I don’t trust God’s moral authority; it’s just that I want to understand the moral reasoning, and I think my mind is too limited and coloured by the world to distinguish this reasoning.

I definitely believe that it is a sin to get an abortion or engage in a gay/lesbian relationship, but sometimes don’t understand how there’s such a clear cut moral line. Fetuses are essentially frogs until they are a couple of months old except for the DNA that lies in their cells, and most Protestants have no problem with birth control, so I do see the logic behind the beliefs of pro-choice Christians. We’re not killing a being that has any emotions yet, and if we’re ending a life that might have been, why do we support birth control within marriage? I do believe that God loves that fetus though, and ending it’s life is usually done out of selfishness. But does God love the zygote the moment that the sperm cell enters the egg; where is that line between cells and person drawn? My dad and I talk theology incessantly, and he believes that getting an abortion is wrong because of the principle; we’re perverting God’s plan for our life (and the fetus’) out of these self-serving motives. When it comes to homosexuality, most of my uncertainty surrounds where homosexual desires stem from. I know a Christian who used to deal with his gay desires, and overcame them, and now is married and has children, but I find it difficult to understand where these urges developed from. He was a strong Christian before he wrestled with this issue, so I don’t get why Satan would choose to target him with this temptation but not other men. My mom feels that a lot of people face their own homosexuality because they learn from society that it’s appropriate behaviour, but this man grew up in the church and never believed that being gay was alright. I just have to feel peace in there is a certain logic to all of this, but that I probably won’t understand it right now!

I’ve grown up with peers who have become gay as we grew older, and some of the parents of my sister’s and my friends are homosexual, and it’s with them that I struggle the most. These people are not the stereotypically prissy, promiscuous homosexuals that the zeitgeist or media caricature. Instead, the gay individuals who I know well are lovely, highly intelligent, and very warm people. On the other hand, nice personalities and braininess do not mean that someone’s behaviour will be morally correct. I guess my big concern with the Christian reaction to homosexuality is its acuteness. While many of my Christian friends have no problem watching films that portray excessive sex (outside of marriage, of course), and love movies that portray characters whose law-breaking behaviour (dangerous driving, stealing, even murder) is glorified, they refuse to even consider watching a movie like “Brokeback Mountain” which has no sex scenes and one completely passionless kiss. Not that I’m not promoting watching movies about gay relationships, but it does seem to me that we have a double standard when it comes to different sins.




















At a Christian conference I attended last year, one of the speakers from the Maritimes iterated his belief that Christians in Canada were spending a disproportionate amount of time opposing gay marriage compared to the amount of time we spent dealing with the millions of dying people in Africa, more than billion-people population that is malnourished, and billions of people that don’t know Jesus. While I believe that God created marriage for a man and woman, I don’t feel that I need the state to sanction my view of marriage, and I absolutely feel that the tragedy of the impoverished and oppressed around the world is of far greater proportions than the issue of gay marriage in Canada.

I’ve been going to the U of A bookstore with my dad since I was born, and it’s such a nostalgic spot for my sister and me. We would always buy our detective notebooks there (I always got the mottled green one with the university’s crest, and Jess would always pick out this navy one with fun folder pockets). The bookstore even used to have an amazing collection of TY beanie babies when Jess and I were super into them. It’s cool that I’m kind of appropriating my parents’ old digs on campus, and it’s also been neat to observe spots like HUB, SUB, and FAB evolve through my lifetime. I’m so blessed to be able to get my education, and totally relish the enrichment that my classes and the campus environment gives my life. If you ask me, one of the greatest things that God created in us is our ability to learn, whether it be about Him, ourselves, or the rest of creation.


















My profs have all been really great (intelligent, humourous, and kind) with the exception of my linguistics instructor, who is at times illogical and ignorant. Despite her being in a field devoted to the details of language, she stated in class today that people from China speak Chinese (when of course they speak Mandarin and Cantonese), and told us that if she can understand us, we can understand her through her French accent. While I can make out her English perfectly, what she said was entirely nonsensical; it’s like a toddler covering their eyes and believing that if they can’t see someone looking for them, the person searching for them will be unaware of their presence. Her lecture just seemed quite incoherent to me! She was trying to explain the difference between passive and active converses in class yesterday, and I actually had to put up my hand to explain the two because she was being so unclear. However, I do owe her respect for knowledge of linguistics, and maybe part of my frustration with her class is simply due to the language barrier. It is true though that the only profs who I haven’t loved were this French linguistics prof and my French calculus prof, both of whom have elitist views and little respect for the diversity of their students. I must remember to love them despite my irritation with them though!

I’m really too depressed about politics to open that can of worms more than a crack. The Conservatives might even get a majority! Even writing about this is causing tears to well up in my eyes (literally; I think I need to start taking politics less seriously). My brilliant, wise, and magnificent social teacher at Scona always made a point of reminding us that although democracy is an important privilege that we have a duty to exercise, the differences between parties in Canada are miniscule compared to those in other countries. While I believe that the Conservatives don’t love everyone (even though they should!), and some people will have harder lives as a result of their election, there are far more grave distinctions between political parties elsewhere. In South American countries, one leader might stand for the people, while a vote for the other would mean a restrictive dictatorship-style government. Even if we get a right-wing Prime Minister, my quality of life (and those of most other Canadians) will remain the same. I suppose my main issues that I can’t get over deal with how Canada would approach the rest of the world under a Conservative government.

Harper has strong ties to the States, and I just don’t want my country to be associated with the greedy, ignorant behaviour of the U.S. right now. I don’t care if that means that our economy suffers either; America has made so many decisions in the past two decades that helped no one but themselves and often came at the great expense of others. Their almost unilateral wars, abuse of Third World countries through tied-aid and unfair SAPs, and plans for Star Wars really alarm me. It’s not that I dislike Americans, or even Bush (and I certainly don’t hate others), it’s simply that their ignorance, and refusal to remedy their ignorance, aggravates me to no end. My parents just finished reading Gwynn Dyer’s latest book (not at the same time, but within a few days), and Dyer really demonstrates the motivation for so many of their recent reckless decisions to be clearly egocentric. America has repeatedly signed onto agreements, and failed to follow through in them; in 1996 they signed the CTBT to stop the dangerous testing of nuclear weapons, but failed to ratify or act on it in 1999; in 1998 they signed Kyoto, and have yet to ratify it; there are countless more instances of their hypocritical behaviour on the global stage. It’s most disconcerting that the U.S. is seen as the most Christian nation in the world, and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with that, but their international affairs rarely respect a Christ-like love for others, and display a marked lack of empathy or sympathy.

On the web forum for the College and Career group at church, there was a post about the election, and of course I couldn’t help but join the discussion. One of the issues that came up was the fact that if Canada’s seemingly inefficient businesses, such as those in the automobile or agriculture industries, deliver goods at a more expensive price, we should just use those foreign goods. I must admit that other countries may come up with innovative ideas that allow them to be more efficient in their business, but if these improvements are significant, there’s nothing stopping us from appropriating them. I believe that the main reason that goods are cheaper from other places is the low cost of labour in the Third and Second World countries. I also believe that it is really unethical to support the maltreatment of workers that allows this minimal cost of labour, whether it be in sweat shops or farms and mines in other countries, and certainly avoid purchasing items from companies that allow this exploitation. Meeting our often-superficial desires through the employment of such unjust tactics is inherently selfish, and I really don’t believe that it’s at all necessary. The First World has a responsibility to encourage ethical treatment of workers, and support this with aid and direct assistance. But, that’s just my idealized, romantic view of how the world could work. The Western view of the world and our relation to it has progressed significantly in the past century, but we still have more strides to make. We may never (and probably won’t) reach this utopia of equality and accord, but it’s our prerogative to strive for this.

Peace, paix, pace, and shalom!

Apres Ski

Happy Friday everyone!

My family and I just returned home last night after a few days of skiing in Banff, and I must say that it’s so nice to be back. A few of my friends are constantly traveling to Europe and Asia in the summer or doing a semester in another country, and they love trying to convince me to take up a similar nomadic lifestyle, but I quite enjoy my little niche in Edmonton. I know that this city is certainly not one of the best places to live in the world, let alone Canada, but I’ve grown up with it and I was really made to live in Edmonton, at least for a few more years.

When I went to Europe for five weeks after grade 12, the architecture of the cities there were a strong contrast to the uninspiring buildings here and the distinctive countries have had time to mature into culturally rich and beautiful cultures. While I enjoy the beauty and adventure of traveling, I’m really most contented at home. I’ve got my area of the city with campus, the river valley, and Whyte Ave. all in close proximity, and Edmonton’s got a decent theatre scene and pretty good shops. There’s a few new exhibitions coming to the art gallery this winter that I’m super excited about, and the renovations that are about to take place will no doubt be a huge improvement.

As soon as I leave the university area though, there’s a plethora of hideous big box stores and plastic-siding houses that look identical to each other. Especially now with the bizarre lack of snow the unsightliness of the dead grass and muddy roads is exacerbated. Even in Banff there was very little snow, although Sunshine had loads, which made for excellent skiing. We’ve gone to Marmot and Lake Louise for the past few years, so it was fun to try some different hills for a change, although it was freezing cold going down the runs. There was even some good snow on the cross-country trail at Moraine Lake, although I was pretty tuckered out with all of the undulating hills.

I just got back from the dentist, and I’m waiting to eat, but I’m supposed to wait half an hour before having anything solid, so I’m starving right now! I could probably make some soup, but I really feel like a tuna sandwich, so I’ll just be patient. I had some really great meals in the mountains at this little café in Canmore and this Cajun joint close to our hotel in Banff. We even checked out the Second Cup there, and it was über cute! It’s so weird to see the same cups and furniture and drinks as my café in the mountains. I suppose it’s the upside of working for a sometimes-greedy franchise. At least Second Cup is Canadian!

My sister’s going to get some new glasses today, and I’m ecstatic. I think I’ve mostly convinced her to get some bold frames, although my mom highly disapproves of my attempts to influence Jess’ fashion sense. Paul Frank has these wicked “Transatlanticism” frames that are pretty much identical to Ben Gibbard’s, but Jess is a bit too conservative for those. I’ve always wanted glasses, but I’ve got 20/40 (or is it 40/20?) vision, and won’t need them until I’m 50. I could get frames with plain lenses, but I think that would signal my entrance into a new level of vanity. Alas, I’m left trying on my friends’ glasses once in a while for fun and taking part in the fun of wearing them vicariously.

The Conservatives have taken a ginormous leap in the polls as of late, and I think the stats they reported last night on The National put them six points ahead of the Liberals. Obviously this concerns me a little bit. Harper has made his opposition to national day care more than evident, and his concentration on increased sentences for gun-related crimes shows a complete lack of knowledge or thought on the subject. Although Martin’s proposed hand-gun ban is unlikely to make a difference, more severe sentences for criminals have been shown by study after study to have no impact on the crime rate. Our laws require us to give a second chance to citizens, whether we like it or not, and the focus on punishment rather than rehabilitation is so narrow minded. Programs in other countries that strive to work with violent criminals are far more effective in making communities safer than employing a solely punitive philosophy.

While punishment does discourage people from engaging in certain behaviours, operant conditioning really only works when all offences are caught and punished, and when punishment occurs almost immediately after the behaviour. Unfortunately, this is not possible. Most people do not consider what the consequences will be before they commit a crime; the sentences are not a significant deterrent. And, contrary to what many Conservatives might argue, guns do kill people. In fact, the mere presence of a gun in a room will cause a subject in a psych experiment to deliver more shocks to a confederate, and places where guns regulations are less restrictive have greatly higher crime rates.

Perhaps change after twelve years is inevitable, and it will shake Ottawa up a bit. It will certainly delight all of my right-wing Christian buddies, and make for some interesting politics. Presumably, Layton would cooperate with Harper on mainly politically neutral legislation, while the optics of a Conservative government working with the Bloc would be pretty bad. Mark Kelley was in Alberta a few weeks ago doing a story on our alienation and came to my café a couple of times, and said the overall sentiment that he had experienced was that Albertan votes didn’t matter at all. Perhaps if the Conservatives are elected, that feeling will be diminished. After all, it’s unlikely that the new government will last long anyways. I’ll just be a little bit less proud to be Canadian when Harper becomes our PM.

















A deliveryman just brought me my sweater from Delias, and it’s supersweet! It’s this black number with a frilly neck; it’s kind of Victorian, and really fuzzy. Yay! I think I’m gonna check out American Apparel and Decadence tonight too, so I’ll be well stocked up for school (in only three days). I’m so excited for this upcoming term, although I think I’ll have to study pretty hard for Anatomy 200. Well, it’s almost been half an hour, so I should go cook myself some perogies in early acknowledgment of Ukrainian Christmas tomorrow.

Have a fabulous weekend!

Merry Belated Christmas and Happy New Year!

Glad yule everybody!

As Dan Wilson states in the title of one of his songs, “what a year for a new year.” As of late, there’s been a quasi-backlash against the concept of this arbitrary day that signals the beginning of another year as being significant as a time for a fresh start. It’s been proven that resolutions are rarely ever achieved, and there’s no real difference between 11:59:59 on December 31 and 12:00:00 of January 1, but I just adore the sense of today being a clean slate. Yes, I’ve made a couple of New Year’s resolutions, and especially since I turned 20 (gasp) two weeks ago, I certainly feel like I’m turning over a new page.

So, for accountability purposes of course, I’ll share my soon-to-be-broken aspirations for the next twelve months. Although I’ve always been pretty obsessed with going to plays, movies, concerts and the like, my chief resolution for 2006 is to be culturally enriched. I’ve even made out a to-do list for the year (go to a gallery every two months, two concerts a month, do some photography at least once a week, etc.). I’m also striving to be more physically active; while I walk absolutely everywhere, and feel relatively fit, some parts of my body are noticeably lacking exercise. Specifically, my arms are still as gangly as ever despite my being done growing.

I was carrying the heavy coffee grind bag out to the garbage with Colleen today and it was quite the struggle (for those who don’t know, the grind garbage at work is heavier than my eMac that I’m typing this on, but I still should be able to lift it). However, I refuse to lift weights, so I’m trying to speed along my Dad and sister’s plans to take up racquetball, since solo-racquetball would not be the best workout. I’m also going to do some more cross-country this year, starting with a trip to Banff for a few days on Tuesday, and am thinking about getting a stationary bike, although I’m not sure how I’d fit it in my little bedroom.

Of course, the most important resolutions that I should have would involve striving to be more Christ-like, but I feel like making that a goal for 2006 would kind of belittle that aspect of my life. The Christian journey is definitely a marathon, and I'm hopefully always moving forward towards my eventual destination. My devotions have been focusing on the importance of scripture in the past couple of days, and the substitutes that so many of us use for God's Word are especially apparent at this time of year. Peoples' (including mine) resolutions attempt to bring them happiness from ungodly sources, whether through improved appearance and an ideal weight, financial success, or finding that special someone. All the art, theatre, and music I consume will ultimately mean very little to God unless I use them to glorify Him.

While He created us to enjoy life and make the most of our time here, we alone will never be able to achieve the peace that Jesus provides us with. Because of the Fall we really can't experience true joy on our own, and I don't think I'll experience pure, complete joy until I reach heaven. I also know that God has a far greater purpose for my life than my own happiness, but it's so easy for me to get wrapped up in my hedonism and selfishness. What often feels like a natural impulse to serve my desires is a lie that Satan perpetuates in my life. Although I feel fortunate to live in this time of unprecendented freedom and prosperity, it can be difficult to remain focused on the things that matter when capitalism relies on the fallacy that it is right to always pursue one's self-interests. There's certainly a fine balance between enjoying the gift of life from God and not abusing it.

My dad broke the headphone jack on his iPod just before break, and just got a new black iPod video for himself, and it’s seriously awesome. I’m totally considering getting one since mine’s almost two years old now and I can’t fit my over 20 days of music on its 15 gigs anymore. I just checked, and I’ve got 27.78 GB in my iTunes, so the video iPod could accommodate two of my iTunes libraries (yay)! When one considers that I’m getting my $400 cheque from Ralph pretty soon, this just might be a possibility. Over Christmas, I listened to tons of my classic Christmas albums (Charlie Brown with Vince Guaraldi, Maybe this Christmas and its sequels, Low’s Christmas Songs, Bright Eyes’ A Christmas Album, Chrismukkah, Devendra Banhart), but balanced them out with some non-holiday records.

In the last week, I’ve been concentrating on Cat Power, Art Brut, The Clientele, The Like, The Mendoza Line, Red House Painters, Rogue Wave, and Pete Yorn. It was incredibly exciting when all of my favourite music sites came out with their “best of the year” lists (all my faves fared well, fortunately), but now the writers are on break and I’ve had no musical criticism to digest recently except from The Guardian. Hopefully Pitchfork will start up again pretty soon, and I should buy the latest NME when I’m at Chapters tomorrow. Speaking of which, I think I’ll write a list of my current top web sites (mainly for posterity’s sake). They're now linked in the sidebar!

Alright, so getting back to Christmas, I hope everyone had a blast (and still are). I scored this year with my turntable, records to accompany the turntable, a multitude of books, a few albums, and iTunes gift certificates. It’s now the post-Christmas time of year when I’m thrilled and nervous to be entering a new term, and savouring time off while looking forward to meeting new people and learning new things in school, church, with friends, and at work. I’ve been working a bit extra during Christmas because lots of girls went home over the holidays, and I’ve had my fill of 5:30 opens at the café. It’ll definitely be nice to have class at 10:00 MWF and 9:30 TR during winter term, and it means I’ll be at the café at 5:30 just on Saturdays, which is ideal.

I would love to talk politics right now, but I’ve been engaging in deep political conversations all break, and the latest reaction to the allegations regarding Goodale’s office and the leadership of the three party’s has been quite disconcerting to me. As I become increasingly frustrated with capitalism, it seems as though I become increasingly aggravated with politicians who share my views on economics and philanthropy. While most of the academics in poli sci at school are staunch supporters of left-wing politics, the politicians on that side of the spectrum are not always so intellectual. Terry Milewski did a report on Layton a couple of weeks ago, and Layton’s response to the issues of Quèbec sovereignty and national unity were shockingly wishy-washy. I’m still not decided on who I’ll vote for. I’m not sure if I can see the very compassionate Jack as a strong PM, and I am becoming more and more disillusioned with Liberal policy. And I shouldn't get started on Steven Harper, his eerie eyes, and his Conservatives.

I’m falling asleep as I write this, and need to get up bright and early tomorrow morning, so I’d better wrap this up. I’ll leave you with some (perhaps confusing) questions I’ve been mulling over in the past couple of days and maybe come back to them in an entry later this week. Hopefully you’ll understand what I’m saying; it’s always tricky to communicate what exactly is on one’s mind. First of all, is God’s morality about cost-benefit analysis or absolute principles? What about my personal morality? If one person had a gun and was about to shoot two others, would I decide to murder the shooter because it would mean less death? In instances of war, how much suffering (maybe not even death, maybe just torture/persecution/oppression) justifies invading a nation and killing people? Can such suffering be quanitified so that engagement in war could be evaluated as appropriate or not? Would Jesus have fought in a war or pulled a gun on Saul (pre-Paul) if he saw him murdering other Christians? It's sometimes difficult to imagine exactly WWJD.

I've also been pondering why music would evolve in humans? How does God speak to Christians who I disagree with so strongly on issues of politics, such as George Bush, when I feel convicted that they are wrong? What does being a Christian feminist mean? When will I run out of room for my books (I just bought a new bookshelf, and I already filled it up last night)? How does the Holy Spirit affect our thoughts when our brains are so chemically based (does He affect our neurons, or is thought much deeper than science finds it to be)? I think these ponderings are pretty incoherent, but it’s what I’ve been contemplating while listening to The Stars and falling asleep. As an aside, The Stars are coming on February 5 to Dinwoodie and Jess and I can’t wait! Pictured here are my new drainpipe jeans from Builty by Wendy that I got with my Christmas dress and sailor belt. Our basement couch has a cover that's too short (as you can see in the picture), and it drives me bonkers! My sister will gladly tell you how obsessed I am with fiddling with the couch cover. The jeans have a big embroidered dreamcatcher on the back, and are super comfortable! Sorry about the insane length of this entry. I resolve to be more concise later on (though we all know what they say about resolutions).

Hugs and smooches! XOXO