Living in the Tension

I’m often struck by the dialectics that define our lives. So often, we are required to balance the various aspects of our lives and find where we fit amongst the extremes of this world. Rarely is spending all of my energy on one activity, dwelling excessively on one line of thought, or identifying with a fundamentalist belief a very wise course of action. Instead, I think that life is lived most fully when we embrace the tension that defines it. Life is messy, and imagining it to be black and white is rather ignorant in my estimation. Fleshing through life’s muddledness can be tricky, and it’s often easier to deny the mess that we find ourselves in. In my experience, Christians especially get caught in this trap of pretending that life is uncomplicated. While the truth of life is remarkably simple (God loves you, Jesus is the way, the truth, and the life; end of story), I’ve found that living this truth out is anything but clear-cut. Without God’s guidance and dialogue with others in my life, life can get awfully confusing awfully fast. How do I live in the world, but not be of it? Am I dismissing the command to love God sometimes when I concentrate so heavily on the command to love others? When do I need to go beyond saying the “nice” thing, and be candid? Questions like these are tricky to flesh out on my own. But I think failing to recognize that life is complicated means that we miss out on the full potential of life; working through the complications is ultimately so gratifying, and always takes me closer to the truth.


So often, North American Christians have supported black and white ideas like the “if you’re not with us, you’re against us” notion, despite Jesus’ converse words in Mark 9: “whoever is not against us is for us.” Jesus teaches that the weak are strong, and says, “blessed are the meek;” straightforward logic would contradict these statements. Life is not always straightforward, though. My favourite chapter in Rob Bell’s Sex God is the one titled “Angels and Animals” which pursues Blaise Pascal’s (AKA Bono in the Lobe household) idea that “man is neither angel nor beast.” In the context of Rob Bell’s book, this means that the church’s tendency to view ourselves as angels without flesh and a sexual side misses the point, while living as if we’re untamable animals isn’t any better, of course. Instead, recognizing the tension that exists between these two extremes, and working through this tension, is where we find the truth. I feel the struggle to flesh out life’s messiness most strongly at Easter. The days between Good Friday and Easter Sunday can be so strange because I want to remember Jesus’ sacrifice and the fact that my sin put Him on that cross, but at the same time I know that He lives again, and lives in me. (If you’re reading this, Caitlin, you’re not allowed to make fun! I know this sounds absurd. It’s true though. Too bad. Sometimes the most absurd things are the most true.)

I miss Zion a lot at Easter and Christmas, but McKernan really does have a beautiful Good Friday service that makes up for its lack of Zion-ness. Everyone takes Communion receives prayer at some point, and it’s a time of vulnerability, the kind of vulnerability that I miss from Zion. It’s a time of Communion, not just in the sense of the Eucharistic rite, but also in the sense of fellowship. I’m always struck in moments like these by the ache that people normally hide when they’re being invulnerable. Seeing people’s hurt on Friday, and thinking of Christ’s pain from the physical anguish and our heart-breaking betrayal, I feel especially aware of life’s ugliness and injustice and difficulty. Of course, I was also struck in this moment by the fact that we’re able to be in communion and receive salvation through Jesus’ blood. There was a tension in my mind between contrasting sentiments, but it was a tension that led me to a fuller understanding of that day’s significance. I want to live in the reality of life’s pain, whether it’s friends who are struggling, the suffering that so many people face on a daily basis, friends at work and school not knowing that Good Friday was for them, missing my old church, recognizing that it was my sin that held Him there, or simply wishing my grandparents were in town for Easter.


Of course, I want to rejoice always, and live in the reality of life’s beauty as well. I spent the morning with my oh-so-lovable family, remembered Jesus’ self-sacrificing love with a church that I care about very much, cooked a turkey dinner with some beautiful friends, walked around in the chilly-but-sunny Albertan spring, and spent the evening with some of my favourite people enjoying fellowship, silliness, and food (even under-appreciated hot cross buns and red Ecuadorian bananas). Matt, my corn-loathing friend behind such hit albums as Can You Say Indie? Volume 3: A Collection of Kintrasts, sent me Vega 4’s “Life Is Beautiful” a while ago, the chorus of which goes “life is beautiful, but it’s complicated.” It’s incredibly cliché, but true nonetheless. No matter how tough the going gets, I’ll always know God’s love and grace, which matter infinitely more than anything else. Even when life is easy peas, though, I don’t want to stop praying for friends who don’t know God’s love, I don’t want to become complacent, and I want to be able to share the burdens of others and hurt when they hurt. Life is messy, and I want to be willing to get dirty in the muddled disorder. There’s a tension in living between Jesus’ salvation-giving sacrifice and the time when God will restore everything, and there’s a tension in being part of an upside down Kingdom, and I embrace that tension.

On another tangent, I’ve become increasingly aware of the fact that, as Mr. Longbrake puts it, the less you have, the better off you are. I was bothered by my love of clothes and pretty furniture last fall, and have been praying about it since then. I don’t really want to want possessions, but it’s hard for me to shut off that desire. God’s somehow managed to convince me of this truth (in the way that my heart knows it, not just my head), and I’m caring decreasingly about these things. There’s nothing very profound about my diminished desire to consume, but I’ve found it to be quite encouraging and freeing to know deep-down that I don’t need things, and that God can work in me in ways that don’t seem at all plausible. I finished Sex God the other week, and Rob Bell speaks on lust for a portion of the book. Lust, as Bell paints it, is about buying into the promise that something will gratify and fulfill us in a way that nothing but God really can. Whether it’s sex, the admiration of others, pretty turquoise Lux ballet flats from Urban Outfitters that cost $39, or a trip to NYC, the good in these things is ultimately meant to point to God and live in the joy that He intended for us; these things were not meant to replace God. I’m not a very big fan of capitalism, and our small group was pondering the inescapability of “the system” in our society last week. We can’t really not go to school and subvert the get-a-job and make-a-living way of life in North America, because each of us is best equipped to love others by following this system to some extent in a capitalistic society. But as Shane Claiborne writes, we’re called to do “small things with great love,” whether in Calcutta, the grocery store, or our workplaces. It kind of stinks that I have to be a part of this system, but God can work even in this greed-based society that we’ve created (amazingly enough).


I would just like to reiterate how beautiful life is as I wrap up today’s blog entry. This morning, I woke up at 5:30 for some reason or other, and the sky was too beautiful to not get up and enjoy. I love orange skies, no matter what C&C non-city friends say about the city sky. The orange just looks so warm, and reminds me that there are people all around me contributing to the orangeness of the sky in some indirect way. Especially at 5:30 in the morning, God’s presence is so very apparent, even in the sky and falling snow and frosty wind. I was pondering God and life and people (the best things to ponder, of course), and the sky became the most remarkable shade of indigo purple. It was a beautiful moment, and it was so clear that God is so much bigger than anything else I’m facing. He’s bigger than the hardships of my friends, the things that money can buy, the poverty and injustice that exist in this world, and my exams and assignments and readings. He’s much bigger than even the sky, which is, of course, the biggest thing I’ve ever seen in my entire life. There’s not really anything more comforting than that. Not that His bigness or the backwardness of capitalism and competition give me an excuse to not care about any of the aforementioned things, but the fact that He loves me unconditionally and matters more than any of these things gives me a great deal of peace. And with that, I’m off to study! I trust that you’re all enjoying the snow rather than bemoaning it ceaselessly, as has become a trend at work. It’s cold and a nuisance, and really not suitable for springtime, but if you resolve to enjoy its delicate prettiness, it’s much more bearable.

P.S. Any of you who voted for peas on Saturday night have pained me deeply. Your betrayal was very harsh, and I don’t think I will ever cook corn for you again. Except that I will cook it again because you must all learn that corn is FAR superior to putrescent peas.
P.P.S. I am currently in love with Patrick Watson’s “The Great Escape.” Find a copy of it for yourself; he’s my latest favourite Canadian artist.
P.P.P.S. John Mayer is here in 18 days! And then Feist! And the Police! Plus, with K-Days, the Folk Fest, jazz concerts, and various other music fun, I’m exceedingly thrilled about the music that this summer has in store for Cait et al.
P.P.P.P.S. Jesus died for you. I pray that you know that deep-down.

Rules Schmules (Or Perhaps Not)

Quite often, I find rules to be ridiculous. The fact that brown belts can’t be paired with black shoes, that the commencement of a play must be greeted with applause, and the way in which guys often feel obligated to open doors exclusively for girls strikes me as kind of laughable. Ben (who is back!! I missed him!!) was arguing the merits of the latter item in that list this week, not surprisingly. His only explanation for why he feels compelled to open doors and pay for girls was based on the historical practice of such acts of chivalry. In truth, I’m not deeply troubled by boys opening doors for me, though sometimes I can’t help but giggle, nor am I going to refrain from clapping for a few moments when the curtains open at the Citadel just because I find it silly, but many implicit rules that our society has adopted are more significant and bothersome. Some rules have a profound impact on how we live day-to-day, and can be both unhelpful and unhealthy, whether it’s certain discussion-worthy topics becoming taboo, our unquestioning acceptance of some forms of authority, or the increasing unacceptability of greeting an unfamiliar passerby on walks down Whyte. Often, it’s Christian-created rules that bother me the most; I think it’s limiting to when we create set ways that we worship and pray in, make sometimes excessively-defined gender roles, and avoid acknowledging that we drink/dance/play poker (etcetera!) outside of church. I think it’s simplistic to think that there are set formulas that we can teach people to facilitate their courtship practices, “save” their non-Christian friends, maintain their sexual purity, be happy, and so on. People are individuals, and few formulas in life apply to everyone. If we want a formula, the combination of prayer, Bible-reading, and community generally diminish the need for silly “Ingredients to Success” lists. God created us to be individuals, and synthetic rules might be helpful to one person, but could easily be detrimental to another.


All this is to say that I’m not fond of certain manmade rules. But more than I’d like to think, my distaste for some expectations keeps me from recognizing the importance of truly important rules. I believe that God commanded us to do things for our own good; a command to be joyful has obvious merits, and even the not-so-obviously-valuable commandment not to covet is hard to argue with. God loves us, and wants us to live the rich lives, living this life can sometimes feel like a narrow path I think. This week, in various ways, I’ve seen how important some of these guidelines are, in situations that went south because of a lack of listening to God, or blessings that comes out of abiding by His rules even when it’s annoying and inconvenient (sometimes God asks me to do things that I find bothersome; I’ve found that it’s pretty much always a good idea to listen to Him though). The idea that as Christians, we should go to church on Sundays seems so rigid and arbitrary to me, but without consistent community and learning that a church body provides, it’s so hard to live “well” in that Christian sense, I think. God’s idea of marriage, too, is an idea that I am rather keen on, but a lot of people I talk about it with struggle with the restriction of it. When people do things their own way, it’ doesn’t always go so well. He’s shown me this week that He really does know best, and that when He’s not our Lord, things can get awfully messed up awfully fast. He never created these rules out of power-thirst; He created them out of love. I know this is vague, but I’ve found it to be a comfort this week to know that even when rules seem limiting and “fun-sucking,” as Crystal would say, they’re there for a reason. Despite my tendency to frown upon strange and arbitrary synthesized rules, there are rules that were made by Someone who knows better, and while my following them might sometimes seem futile, I’d like to think that it never really is.


I’ve been journaling about apathy and pride this week, neither of which are necessarily pleasant topics, but I’ve enjoyed the catharsis that comes along with writing about things. However, as I have decided from typing the past two paragraphs, some things aren’t blogged about so easily, so I shall refrain continuing my discussion of things learned this week! It’s been one of those weeks that is hectic and stressful, but somehow pleasant nonetheless. I’d be praying about something particular that was on my mind, and would open my devotionals, or turn to a page in my Bible, only to find that what I was reading something that addressed precisely what I’d been pondering. (At one point I was wondering to God what exactly a radical life looks like, as this is something I’ve been trying to define recently, and I opened my devotionals to find that that days’ readings were titled “A Radical Life.”) Sometimes there are just too many coincidences at once for all of them to be actual coincidences; I love when God’s presence is so very tangible. Friends, too, have brightened a taxing week. As aforementioned, Ben is back, and it was so good to catch up with him (I even enjoyed a violent, gender-stereotyping, intellectually limited film, which was quite momentous).

On the other end of the friend spectrum, my wonderful co-CJ friend, who likes to remain “Anonymous” in the blogosphere, met up with me for some iced Vietnamese coffee and chai today, and just chatting with her while sitting on strange tin chairs was so delightful. It’s nice to know that she’s remained as droll, clever, and lovely as she was in the days of mocking rat-loving LA teachers and lying about her father’s career (for more than two years!). She hooked me up with a cute little book on feminism, and made a brilliant sales pitch for the anti-racism concert she’s involved in next week; the fact that I hung out with both Ben and her this week makes me laugh. Jess was THE BEST study buddy over the past few days, the kind that says nice, supportive things and eats taco chips in bed with you, but also tell you to stop looking up “pecuniary” in the thesaurus when studying is necessary. (But really, isn't pecuniary a great word? I'm endeavouring to use it more regularly.) Jess and I have a new favourite song by Of Montreal titled “Wraith Pinned to the Mist and Other Games,” and it’s definitely one of our best romantic theme songs of all time (it’s wise to have romantic theme songs with friends; Korp and I recently selected one from our choir repertoire, and we make kissing/eyelash-batting signals whenever we sing it at practice). Plus, dinner with some of my favourite sadistic people tonight was full of laughter, blushing, and general contentment. Crystal even confirmed that she’s going to watch Star Wars, something that she’s been avoiding for nearly a year.



Basically, people make life lovely even when school attempts to make it torturously painful. I had a midterm yesterday and today, and am currently writing an essay on the evolutionary theories related rape, which is rather depressing to research as you might imagine. Fortunately, writing and researching papers is far more stimulating than reading textbooks for hours on end, and I no longer have to write about A Knight’s Tale, which turned out to be a very unwise essay topic indeed. Besides textbooks and articles about the trauma of domestic abuse, I’ve been reading Sex God and Tuesdays with Morrie this week; these are both highly recommendable books, and thus, I am recommending them to you. As an aside, I will inform you that I struggled to find a copy of Sex God in Edmonton at first, and resultingly had to phone various book stores asking “Do you have a copy of Sex God in?” I found this to be slightly mortifying. Even worse was when I went to Chapters to get the copy that I’d finally got on hold, and the clerk very clearly thought that it was some Kama Sutra-esque book, and mouthed the title (refusing to say it aloud) when confirming that this was, indeed, the book that I wanted to read. He showed me the cover, and proceeded to ring it through without making eye contact or speaking again. In fact, Sex God is a Christian book about humanity, intimacy, desires, and so on; the clerk was evidently not aware of this. I really should be off to bed before the St. Patty’s bonanza that awaits me at work tomorrow morning, so I shall bid you all goodnight! I feel I should apologize for the excessive futility of this entry. This has been my break from reading articles, and I’m clearly not in a writing groove right now (hopefully this serves as a warm up for paper-writing tomorrow). Happy St. Patty’s Day my dear Irish and not-so-Irish friends!


P.S. Virb.com is going to replace Facebook and MySpace in 5 years. For now, I have made friends with Bloc Party while the rest of you remain satisfied with Facebook. 5 years, though, and you'll all be my Virb-buddies. Mark my words.
P.P.S. Puddles and sunshine and pleasant breezes make spring one of my favourite seasons. When wearing rainboots, the vast amount of mud is exceedingly enjoyable. My puffer jacket is officially stored away until next winter. I hope you're making the most of this pleasant time of year!
P.P.P.S. Conrad Black is difficult to love. His last name describes his heart quite suitably, I think. I am glad that Jean Chrétien was mean to him.

Love, Angel, Music, Baby (- Babies and Angels)

I’ve been waiting for this day for a while now; not only am I done midterms until after reading week, but the Oscars are a mere ten days away (!!!), and tonight is TV bonanza night wherein Jess and I discover whether or not Meredith Grey survived her encounter with the choppy Seattle waters. Contrary to what certain people say, Grey’s Anatomy is rather suspenseful in many respects, and it is extremely possible that Meredith will kick the bucket tonight; a very small part of me hopes that she does die to prove my correctness. February is officially one of my favourite months; the days are getting exponentially longer (the sunrise this morning could actually be enjoyed while I munched on some breakfast!), and it’s jam-packed with my two favourite things to top all my thousands and thousands of favourite things: love and music. In my life, there always seem to be a couple of recurrent themes that I ponder at any given moment, varying from how colours mix together, to the merits conventional evangelism. Delightfully enough, music and love have been intermittent throughout this month, making for a good month indeed. Sunday night was Grammy night in Hollywood, and I was quite thrilled by the musical gong show, despite missing much of the ceremony while out at a feminist play with Caitlin (it was a seriously strange play, but written by a tormented soul, so I was correspondingly informed that I should appreciate it more).


I love that my whole family gets into the Grammys; my parents watched it upstairs in their room because they’re sleepyheads, while Jess and I watched downstairs in the family room, and throughout the show we yelled our excitement and thoughts on the performances and award recipients across the house. Quentin Tarantino announcing a nominee list in an at least slightly wasted state was almost a musical feat in itself; I’m pretty sure that he got up to 100 dB. Additionally, performances by Gnarls Barkley, Corrinne Bailie Rae, Mary J. Blige, and The Police made the night particularly memorable. We saw Sting and Annie Lennox in concert a couple of years ago, and he’s decidedly better with his old band than without them. Other mentionable musical events this month include new music from Acrade Fire, Bloc Party, Jann Arden, Sondre Lerche, The Shins, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah, and Nickelback (haha)! (Arcade Fire is playing SNL next weekend, too; I’m definitely taping that episode.) The release of CYSI Vol 2, which you really must have the CYSI Mail Service deliver, has also added to the month of February, and facilitates much dancing fun with Jess. There are a ton of new favourite songs contained on this release, including one about children of December. People born in December are the coolest people of all. FYI, I have come up with a new dance move which is actually the best thing ever. It’s really embarrassing to perform for other people, and thus I can’t show anyone but Jess, but you can trust me on this one.


My parents have been to a gazillion concerts as of late, and although I’ve been pretty jealous of their enjoyment of Alexander Escavado, and Emmylou Harris, Van Morrison, they give me hope that I can be just as much of an audiophile in 30 odd years (my mom turns 50 in a month; this is exceedingly exciting). For my entire life, I’ve been anomalous in terms of my maturity levels. Since I can remember, I’ve always liked pondering, discussing, writing, and getting involved in rather serious issues, be they political, spiritual, or intellectual. However, at the same time, I’m one of the nuttiest and most eccentric people I know (around really close friends and family; only Jess has seen the extent of my hardcore ridiculousness). Thus, growing up has been strange for me. I don’t really want to lose the harebrained side of me, and I feel as though I’ve known who I am in terms of my tastes, passions, concerns, callings, and beliefs since grade 8 (that was such a good year). Not to say that I haven’t had loads of growing up to do in the past decade or so, but it’s been an odd manner of maturing. I’m quite certain that I’m forever going to be an oddly intense, serious, and silly individual who has no interest in “traffic,” and I kind of like knowing that. I really, really love children and elderly people, above any other group of people, and this is in part because I relate to them most, I think. Children appreciate the small things in life, whether the colour of their favourite milk glass, or the insanity of Mary Poppin’s carpet bag. They know how to be spontaneous and creative, and aren’t afraid to be emotional. Most elderly people seem to have learned that life can be tragic and harsh much of the time, but know from experience that people and situations can be redeemed. They’ve realized what the important things in life are, and have a strong sense of who they are. I aspire to be a child at heart with an old soul.

As for the love theme in February, yesterday was obviously Love Day. At my house, this involves Jess and I making up horrifying love stories for each other (Jess is in love with Elvis Stojko, and enjoys hooking up with playas) while my parents are adorably cheesy and even more vomit inducingly affectionate, though this year Valentine’s festivities took place a day early as my dad is in Calgary playing various “unChristian" card games with his friends, among other things, for teacher’s convention. My grandma made us her world famous Valentine’s Day cookies, and I wore clothing in various shades of pink and red. “Rob” got Crystal flowers, which was so very sweet of him; only a truly magnificent person would get Crystal flowers for Valentine’s Day. Plus, I bought $18 worth of heart-shaped Belgian marshmallows on Tuesday (that’s a lot of Belgian marshmallows: mmmm…) and have been slowly munching on my considerable stockpile. There’s an awful lot of anti-Valentine’s rhetoric, but I really think it’s kind of silly. Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be commercialized if you don’t want it to be; it’s only a superficial day if you let it be. It is silly only to tell the people you love loads and loads that you love them loads and loads once a year, but one day to do this especially, and to have fun with it, strikes me as kind of wonderful. Also, I think that St. Valentine was incredibly cool, and certainly deserves a day in semi-commemoration of his love of God, and love deserves at least one day where we think of it especially. After all, life at its very best is all about loving God, loving others, and loving life.

Providentially, I’ve been reading 1 John for the past two weeks. Yes reading four chapters in two weeks is kind of silly, but my devotions have been taking it slow recently; we’ve been reading 10 verses a day, but they’re such good verses with so much to unpack! 1 John is definitely a good book in the Good Book. John, or who we think was John at least, talks about love in such a great way, and his writing rings so true, and gives me much cause to think. I could talk about love for ages and ages, and would likely bore everyone, so I’ll restrain myself, but suffice it to say that reading John’s thoughts on a temporally appropriate subject makes me smile. Onto an unrelated topic, my family’s going to see John Mayer in April. We love John Mayer sooo much, and have been huge fans ever since Heavier Things. My mom recently signed us up for his fan club, so that we could reap the benefits of being official Mr. Jessica Simpson aficionados, and resultingly we had first dibs on tickets to the concert. WE’RE SITTING IN THE SEVENTEENTH ROW. ON THE FLOOR. Words cannot express my excitement! John Mayer is supposed to be simply awesome live, and I’ll be done exams by April 28, so it should be a perfectly lovely night out. I can’t wait until the end of April!! I’m hoping to find a job working with children, and plan to do a great deal of camping, longboarding, and adventure-making this summer. My parents are going to NYC too (they’re such copycats), so I’m so stoked for them!

Another exciting upcoming event is reading week! Crocheting, catching some films, a party or two, lunching with friends, sunrise walks in the river valley, baking, making movies with Andrew, and reading await. Plus, my family has the long weekend for family day, so we can have extra fun; we’re watching Half Nelson tomorrow when my dad returns home from his Cow Town bonanza, and a weekend spent with Jess promises to be great fun. We’ve now compiled Jess’ grad outfit, and it’s so deliciously pretty! Jess caved, and chose the shoes that I liked and she didn’t, and her dress is BCBG Max Azaria (the best dresses of all time!). My smarty-pants sister is going to be über-gorgeous at Grad 2007. Also over reading week is the C&C missions trip to Jamaica, which I’m so excited about for all of my friends heading over to the Land of Rasta. Crystal is taking my horrifically disgusting money belt (pictured coming through my belt loops in NYC on the left), and has promised to search high (haha… high… Rasta…) and low for a crochet Rasta hat for me. I’ll be praying for you guys and can’t to wait to hear all of your stories! I’ll miss hearing from you all for an entire week. As an aside to my small group members, the C&C Courier comes out very soon, and you know what that means; we must chat after you return from Jamaica-ness! In other news, my dad is officially the best dressed teacher of the dozens of staff members at his school, according to his students. The girls of our family are rather proud of this. We’re kind of intense about how my dad dresses, and frequently purchase random articles of clothing for him that are lovely and fun while on shopping escapades. At last, all of our attention to his wardrobe had paid off! I’m about to head off for a walk outside to make the most of this wonderful weather (clearly the groundhogs were correct!), but I hope that all of you are having splendid weeks full of love, music, and all other good things! I love you!


Joyful Things Recently
- journaling
- the fresh layer of snow
- 1 John
- CBC Radio
- cookies, cottage cheese, and chocolate rainbow ice cream
- the way my halogen lamp lights up my eyelashes like bulbous Christmas lights (you too should notice this)
- being an expert money-saver
- heart-shaped marshmallows
- blankets
- my new Weimeraner calendar
- new music videos
- eating out with friends
- my $3.99 daffodils
- walks down Saskatchewan Drive
- feminist plays
- cooking (I’m getting kind of good at it!)
- watching sunrises and sunsets from the gigantic windows at work
- green tea with honey
- having a clean room
- discussion of Aboriginal issues in Poli Sci
- CYSI Vol 2
- incredibly wonderful professors
- Jess’ grad dress!!!
- my new dance move that involves jumping whilst letting my arms flail about (simply awesome)
- Grey's Anatomy, The Office, and The OC
- pranking Crystal/Rob
- my teddy bear being washed
- Pokey and Gumby figurines
- making people blush by bringing up romantic things
- Charles Bukowski
- articles about music and the emergent church
- playing Slaps with Jess
- Motorcycle Diaries on DVD

Bands to Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Ch-Check Out
- not the Beastie Boys
- Architecture in Helsinki
- Julian Nation
- Rosie Thomas (BFF of Sufjan and Denison!!!)
- Jens Lekman
- Sondre Leche
- Damon Naomi
- Purnice Brothers
- M. Ward
- Philip Glass


P.S. Charles Bukowski’s poetry is simply incredible. He writes things in a way that no one else can, or at least no one else dares to.
P.P.S. Journaling is totally my new favourite activity. Like blogging, except even more self-indulgent and wordy (hard to imagine, I know!). I write at least a few times a day now, and it’s so freeing and delightful.
P.P.P.S. I put up a massive Nacho Libre poster on my wall today that my uncle bestowed upon Jess and I. While it sounds corny, the poster is actually beautiful; I love Mexican wrestler masks. And Jack Black.
P.P.P.P.S. An election is coming soonish! I can feel it in my bones! Yaaay!
P.P.P.P.P.S. I have a new Compassion child, named Daniel José Jaminez Romèro. He likes soccer, his grandpa, and playing group games! He's pretty much my Colombian twin except that he's 5 years old (pictured above; sooo cute!!!!!!!).
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. Most postscripts ever! I love hyperlinks.

Learning Wisdom

Growing up as a Christian, I’ve heard more than a thousand sermons in my life, and have come across an awful lot of theological concepts and contentions. I love learning about God, but I think some things have to be felt and experienced to become part of one’s reality. I can hear something, and believe it to be true, but sometimes it’s not totally internalized until I recognize on my own. Being told something I acknowledge as true is not equivalent to knowing it in my heart (however cheesy that sounds). I’ve been reading through Job this week, and my devotions have emphasized the wisdom that Job gained through his extreme misfortune. Job’s life is such a great illustration of gaining wisdom experientially. In the midst of a brutally harsh time, friends brought him the advanced knowledge of their time in an effort to help him through his pain. This knowledge, however, was insufficient to alleviate his heartache. As one writer puts it, “Having hit the bottom of depression, Job begins to limp towards the light as he realizes that there are some questions we can never fully answer on a human level. What saves Job is not a philosophical breakthrough, but a fresh and life-changing encounter with the God he thought had abandoned him.”

This has been true for me over the past few months as well, not that I was anywhere near depression. A few years ago, a study was conducted on the group of people that psychologists refer to appropriately as “very happy people.” There’s definitely a genetic predisposition to acute happiness (it has to do with dopamine and other fun neurotransmitters), and I’m pretty sure that Jess and I have at least some of these genes. Thus, I’m not used to being less than pretty cheerful most of the time, like I was for some of last term. My job was getting increasingly ludicrous while I simultaneously felt so weighed down trying to keep up with school, family, volunteering, church, friends, my relationship with God, and improving my mind and character. I would read something in my Bible or a favourite book that I normally would have found delightful, but didn’t get that much out of it. I was generally content, but it took energy for me to be truly joyful, and I felt stagnant and stunted spiritually. Like most rough patches, though, this time passed, and I learned so many things deep down as God brought me back to my normal self. As much as I read, discuss, and brood over things, it’s only through God that the truth is really instilled in me, just as it was for Job around 4,000 years ago. I love that our God is so steadfast and unchanging as the source (and embodiment) of truth.

Over the weekend, I was at a session on preaching to the postmodern mind, and the speaker emphasized the value of walking alongside the church as opposed to preaching at them. Rather than simply telling this “postmodernal” generation what it means to walk a Christian journey, actually journeying beside them and wrestling with questions and struggles allows the church to be a relevant and authentic community. This community, Dr. Bob suggests, needs to be willing to acknowledge Sometimes it seems as if Christians shy away from asking questions, and being OK with not knowing the answers to some of those questions. Rob Bell writes, “A Christian doesn’t avoid the questions; a Christian embraces them. In fact, to truly pursue the living God, we have to see the need for questions. Questions are not scary. What is scary is when people don’t have any. What is tragic is faith that has no room for them… A question by its very nature acknowledges that the person asking the question does not have all of the answers. And because the person does not have all of the answers, they are looking outside of themselves for guidance. Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility. A humility that understands that I am not God. And there is more to know.” Bell goes on to describe Abraham’s questioning of God, and points out that instead of getting angry, God seems to engage with Abraham all the more. Perhaps God desires us to be people who don’t just sit there and mindlessly accept whatever comes their way.

It was once said, “People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” How true that is sometimes. A lot of my growth as a Christian has simply been applying already-gained knowledge. At times, I begin to feel like the rest of my walk with God is looking at the same facts in a different light, and living out what I already know to be true more fervently. This makes me sad because one of my super-duper favourite things to do is to learn. Thankfully, God consistently shows me that I’m a piddly-brained squat, and there are many more lovely and beguiling things to stuff into my little mind. I have dozens of pages of notes in my journal from Break Forth filled with ideas and stories that are fresh to me, and remind me that there’s no limit to how much I can grow (spiritually at least; I stopped growing physically at the age of 19). I find it so encouraging to think of the rest of my life as an opportunity to constantly be learning and applying what I learn. I love words with “en” prefixes: encourage, enchant, enamour, engender, enliven, encompass, endure, enwrap, enjoy, enable, encapsulate…). These words depict actions of actively creating some sort of state, whether it is one of liveliness, love, joy, etcetera. I strive to engage in some of these en- words, but also to experience them.

My devotions last weekend took me to 2 Kings and the story of Elisha en-couraging his servant with truth and prayer. It’s not so much that encouragement is just making someone feel better and rosy about a difficult situation, but rather it’s giving them courage to face that situation. I don’t know that my life is going to be all smooth sailing, and I’m almost certain that it won’t be, but I do know that God will encourage me through anything and everything. He’ll give me the courage to trust in Him, to do something bold, to put my fears and concerns into His hands, to be honest and vulnerable about where I’m at, and to have joy despite my circumstances. With this courage, I can step past my fears and have faith that God will be there through it all, and that most of the things that I am fearful about have only ephemeral significance. There’s something so powerful about the power of the Bible and prayer to encourage. I don’t buy into the idea that our painful moments are a result of God shaping our character and teaching us a lesson; maybe some of these times are directly from God, I can’t be sure. But Genesis 3 tells us that it’s because of our sin that we experience anguish and discouragement. I do know, however, that God can use our hardships to build our character and teach us lessons, and I know with certainty that He wants us to know His encouragement and love in these times.

Despite not feeling tired at the current moment, it’s time that I make the short journey over to my pillows. My body has realized that it’s a 20-something in the past few months, and correspondingly has decreased my propensity for nonsomnia. I’ve adapted surprisingly well to needing more sleep, I must say, but it still feels absurd to go to bed when I feel like reading or dancing or writing. I was exhausted for most of today, but got a pretty decent second wind after watching the incredibly entertaining American Idol auditions in Los Angeles. There’s nothing like the mortification of deluded American singers to revive one’s spirit (in truth, it’s kind of pathetic that I enjoy watching people embarrass themselves, but it’s absolutely hilarious). My parent’s small group isn’t meeting at our house for once, so our usual Wednesday night cleaning was deemed unnecessary. As a consequence, our basement remains in a state of sorry disarray; I’ll have to tend to it before heading off to school tomorrow. On the tangent of walks to school, the snow was just beautiful today. The snowflakes were the size of Cheerios at one point, and it’s refreshing to have a fresh coat of snow on the ground, although poor Jess had to scrape off all the University-student-trampled snow on our front walk. As a final unelegant segue, I shall mention that my courses right now are pretty much awesome with the exception of my evolutionary psych class with the disdainful Dr. Snyder. Who yells at people for reading at the beginning of class? Who states outrightly that Christianity is wrong? Who believes that any “good” human act is in some way a selfish act? Dr. Snyder, that’s who. I’m grateful that most profs are infinitely more kind and open-minded and sanguine.

Some Break Forth ’07 Thoughts (Lots! Rhymes with Thoughts!)
- God’s justice for all people is not retribution; it’s mercy and grace (resultingly, He wants us to care well for the people who God says are precious)
- the more I read about God, the less I know for sure, but the more I know God
- Jesus is quite literally the way; He is the journey, the road we walk on, the path that we follow (not just the destination)
- Christians don’t save anyone; He sends us out to the world because that’s where He will meet us
- He sends us out into the world because that’s where the Kingdom is; when Jesus said “the Kindgdom is near” He didn’t only mean that in a temporal sense, but in the sense that it’s right here, close enough to touch, and He’ll meet us there
- just as Christ was Jesus in human form, so too is Christ in us; thus, He says to us just as He said to Jesus, “you are my child, I love you, and am pleased with you”
- “you are my child” we love when we see parts of ourselves in our children, and it is the same with us
- as children of God, God delights in seeing His truth, His beauty, His love, His justice, His mercy… in our lives
- “I love you” God IS love, and just as He loves an alcoholic homeless person, so too does He love us, and we learn this “out there”
- “I am pleased with you” we bring God immense pleasure, He gives us stuff knowing full well that we’ll abuse it because of His grace (Derek with the $1000 that he frittered away in Vancouver)
- St. Ignatius and Paul teach to end the day with a “prayer of examination” where we end the day seeing what we did well (Christians rarely do this; we’re encouraged to feel guilty and not reinforce ourselves)
- we are free from condemnation in Christ – when we’re full of the Holy Spirit
- the tension of seeing our faults leads us to two possible conclusions (a) get rid of God in our reality (b) repent and live corresponding to God’s ways
- there is a cognitive dissonance (between what we do and what we want to do)
- in prayer, we should indeed make our requests known to God, but first and foremost we need to “centre down on Jesus”
- the difference between quietness and stillness is subtle but considerable
- Phil 3:13-14 with the presence of Christ in you, you can press onwards
- we are not what we were (thankfully), we are not we’re going to be, but we’re pressing onwards
- let in the affirming, cleansing, purifying Christ
- the feeling of guilt is at the heart of religion (not Christianity)
- Tony as a runner lacked will and strength, but when the Spirit is in you, the Spirit works in you
- don’t condemn yourself, don’t focus on the dark sides of humanity, but instead let the Spirit come into you and empower you
- like Cait, he doesn’t like praying publicly; it’s hard to be aware of what you’re saying to Jesus while you’re talking to others
- “if you wait on the Lord, He will renew you” (strength) and “in quietude and stillness He will come to you” (let Him invade, penetrate, saturate; it is then that He will empower you “to will and to do His good pleasure”)
- when we know we’re a child of God, we know His importance, His significance, His value
- He is our Abba, we have that intimacy with Him; we become an heir of God when Christ is in us, and we feel the things that Jesus feels
- we feel heartbroken for those who are broken, we see others as God does; we inherit His feelings for others, His compassion, sense of justice, love, understanding
- when we were born, we were predestined to do great and wonderful things, the destiny prescribed for us is carved out: the question is, are we going to live it out?
- when you get involved in ministry, you change, you sense God’s presence
- “praxis” is the dialectic of how what we do conditions what we believe, but similarly, what we think and believe influences what we do (the zealous Christian fakers who became actual zealous Christians)
- the friend who did loving things for the disgusting Arthur Forbes was seduced into loving Arthur Forbes
- “I don’t mind being a Christian up to a point…” do we want our lives to mean something? we might be believers, but are we disciples?
- Satan believes in Jesus; we have to let Christ come in and surrender, allow ourselves to call him Abba
- the Bible is full of calls for social justice; it’s our duty as Christians to work towards the end of racism, poverty, sexism…
- in a certain sense, the Beatitudes say blessed are those who strive for justice
- a Christian must be committed to love and justice (there are 2,000 verses about doing good for the poor)
- evangelical means: we adhere to the doctrines of the Apostle’s Creed and have a very high view of Scripture (we see it as an error-free book), and believe in the inner transformation of mind and heart and soul by letting Christ into your life
- Charles Finney invited “the invitation” to the front of the sanctuary, but less known is the fact that he got the anti-slavery movement and the feminist movement started (the first feminist meetings were held in churches in Niagra, NY)
- Finney would say that if someone didn’t sign up for either the anti-slavery movement or the feminist movement, that they weren’t being very serious about Jesus (how true!)
- churches are often set up to prepare us to die, but Jesus wasn’t about that; He prayed “let Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven”
- we must define the Kingdom of God
- sometimes we do one or the other: transform people or transform society
- prayer is not informing God, but making requests know to God (but as Romans 8 reminds us, the Holy Spirit repackages what we say – don’t be afraid to make a stupid prayer)
- Kierkegaard warned to beware of what you pray for; God isn’t a transcendental Santa
- the Reformation established that we’re saved by grace, not by good works, but we left a lot of good things behind, some of which are ideas about prayer such as the prayer of examination
- Protestantism is really into beating people up, there’s often a sado-masochistic relationship between a speaker and their audience
- however, only when we’re affirmed are we able to handle the wrong we’ve done, and then (and only then) go through the day confessing, and He will forgive you and cleanse you
- my sins are forgiven (done in the past on a cross) but cleansing is what Jesus does to you in the present tense in your life
- “I Am” He always is, all of time is present tense for Him, all time is compressed into His eternal now
- when Jesus was on the cross, He was comprehending now; He was contemporaneous with now; He can empathize with us right here and now
- He who knew no sin became sin on the cross; that’s why it was so painful for Him: He who loathes sin had all sin transferred to Him and conversely His righteousness to us
- we must keep in mind that sin isn’t covered by “cheap” grace; it pains Jesus for us to sin (it’s free, but very much the opposite of cheap)
- John 14-15 He will be in us
- Christ has always been, He was incarnated in Jesus; the same way that the Spirit was in Jesus, so too will Jesus be in us
- our bodies are the temple of the Lord, it’s a dirty temple; we don’t choose Him, He chose us; the Holy Spirit fills us when we are cleansed (Romans 1: anyone who says it’s a choice is stupid, though not bad)
- when a person becomes spiritually actualized, the thoughts and feelings of Jesus become real in you
- the fact that we’re all so safe in church and our faiths today indicates that something is wrong (Romans 8 again – faith is not just a ticket to Heaven!)
- two sets of values in our society are in diametrical opposition, but far too often the church has tried to synthesize them: the worldly quest for status and reputation, and the Christ-like rejection of status and worldly ambitions
- Mark 10, 1 John 3:17-18, Phillippians 2 (Jesus made Himself of no reputation, there is no question that Jesus would never own a BMW, we need to stop justifying lifestyle choices such as these
- the lifestyle of affluence is so counter to what Jesus taught; we need to embrace a simple lifestyle instead
- as the Quakers say, “Live simply so that others can simply live”
- there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making a lot of money (excepting ethics, etcetera), but there is something wrong with keeping it
- piety isn’t what Jesus wanted for us – Romans tells us to clothe our enemies, overcome evil with good: it’s not that Christianity has been tried and failed, but it’s been tried and been found to be difficult
- the Mark and Luke Beatitudes differ on the way “poor” is described; in one, it’s “poor in spirit” (those without Jesus, those with weak spirits), while in another, it’s “poor” as in without wealth (those with physically very little)
- Jesus desires for us to pursue both of these aims
- “blessed are those that mourn” for the poor, for the boys watching you eat your meal, for those who have gotten the short end of the stick
- “blessed are the meek” we cannot change the world by coercion, otherwise Jesus would have come as a Caesar; He wasn’t about gaining power (this can’t be done through political action, unlike what many Christians in North America believe)
- when we vote, we don’t represent Jesus, we try to be spirit-led; saying otherwise is untrue, and self-centred
- Jihadists aren’t acting out in the name of politics, but rather they’re doing these things in the name of religion
- it comes down to living out the Sermon on the Mount
- George Bernard Shaw once said “God created man in His image, but so often Americans have done the reverse” (how true)
- the idea of hating the sin, and loving the sinner gets it wrong; hate your own sin (deal with the beam in your own eye)
- I'm sick of typing now, and this list has reached a ridiculous length; will perhaps finish in the next entry


P.S. I’m having paranoid imaginings of serial killers in my basement right now. Jess is asleep and I’m too afraid to go scope out the serial killer situation in the family room. However, typing this out and seeing how silly it looks is reassuring in some way. Hopefully I will be alive tomorrow morning.
P.P.S. Tony Campolo is a beautiful, beautiful man.
P.P.P.S. Someone just walked past my window (like right in front of it), and it wasn't anyone who lives in my house. They definitely fit the profile of a serial killer. Aaaaah!

We're All in This Together

I think that some of the most beautiful things I’ve ever witnessed were things in unison, be they people, nature, or events in my life. In keeping with my semi-custom of citing psychological phenomena in blog entries, I’ll allude to the fact that the human mind is set up to find similarities between things rather than differences. This may seem obvious and insignificant, but our brains could have easily been set up to attend to differences, and according to evolutionary models, we would have been just as reproductively fit. In the millions of times I’ve learned about the Scientific Method as a Sciences student, we’ve discussed how we arbitrarily look for similarities among the things we study; we could easily examine differences between organisms and occurrences to learn more about them. The fact that we use Occam’s razor to uncover the laws and principles that govern our universe rather than something that explores how different things behave differently points to our similarity-seeking-minds. I love that God set up our minds to look for harmony and accord in His creation. He made everything so brilliantly unique and special, but there are commonalities in how He made them. I find that all of these God-created things can point me towards Him and the fact that He formed them (although how exactly He created them remains a mystery to me). I love seeing people in unison, and being in unison with others. Not that this justifies agreeing with someone simply because they believe a certain thing, or mimicking someone else’s behaviour just to be the same as them. But part of the joy of cheering obnoxiously with others at football games, doing the Funky Chicken, or singing songs together comes from being unified in thought and action. Whether I share a desire to see my team win a game, and cheer loudly when we score a touchdown, or share a moment of heartfelt praise to God, there’s something exquisite about joining with others in a cause or feeling.

There’s this Ben Lee song “We’re All in This Together” that I really love (he played the Sidetrack the night before I came home from New York; I was sad). The song basically explores what’s stated in its title: the idea that all of us are journeying through life jointly. I’m so sick of the capitalistic idea that we’re competing against each other for resources and happiness. There are more than enough resources for everyone, and it’s so much easier when we root for each other. Whether done explicitly or implicitly, competing to see who has the trendiest clothes, best relationship with their significant other, coolest car, prettiest face, happiest life, or greatest knowledge of Biblical trivia strikes me as such a waste of time and energy. This is not to say that enjoying fun t-shirts and delightful shoes is wrong, or that playing a game of soccer against another team means that you don’t care about the people on that other team, but at times we take our competitive natures to an unhealthy level. As Ben Lee puts it, “on the subway we feel like strangers, but we're all in this together. Yeah I love you, and you love her, and she loves him, and we are all in this together.” We really are “all made of atoms,” and 99.9999% of our genes are identical; why not work together to figure out this thing called life? I just returned home from a weekend spent with C&Cers at Winter Retreat, and while I was miserably sick for most of it, it was such a rich time. Time spent at camp or retreats reliably reminds me that we truly are all in this together. We use each other’s blow-dryers and sleeping bags, eat together, share thoughts about God and life, and are comfortable enough to embarrass ourselves in front of others. On Saturday night, a bunch of us played Skittles, and while reciting tales of past crushes and carrying Stu up a flight of stairs isn’t the most spiritual activity ever, I love that that group of people was able to be (almost) entirely vulnerable and honest with each other.

Sometimes I can be cynical about Christians, and become frustrated over how hypocritical we can be, but there really is something special about Christian community when it’s done well. There might be moments of boys using your camera to have a nipple (ewwww) photo shoot, and Mike might put a giant wasp in your sleeping bag, but it is good. One chapter of Velvet Elvis, which I clearly liked a great deal, spoke about the idea of heaven starting now, and Rob Bell writes about how God saw the world He was creating as good. It was still developing, and was perhaps not perfect, but He knew it was good. The world is still the same; it’s far from perfect, but it is good, and God’s kingdom is being built up right now as I type this. God’s people mess up a great deal of the time, but God is working in them, and He sees them as He sees Christ; I need to see others as He sees them more of the time. Sometimes I wish the church reached out to people on the margins of society more often, and I often think that we miss great opportunities to kingdom-build out of close-mindedness or selfishness. But spending time with people nearly 24 hours a day gives me a perspective that I don’t often have, and it makes me hopeful about the church. People really are intentional about their faith, and do care deeply about others, perhaps it’s just not obvious all of the time. I loved talking about common struggles and doubts with people in my small group, and was encouraged to remind myself that I know a group of people my age who genuinely want to live Christ-centred lives. I may disagree with a few of them on about a zillion things, and may find some of their dating practices to be amusing, but they’re really quite lovely.

As aforementioned, I’ve been unfortunately sick as of late, and have found that this particular virus leads to the strangest dreams. Last night, I had a vivid dream that I was going to San Francisco over the summer, and awoke to be bitterly disappointed that it had merely been a sleeping reality. The night prior, I dreamt that I was a teacher, and all of the children adored me. Viruses certainly have their upsides. In other extraneous news, the lineup for Coachella was recently announced, and I’m so very giddy about it. Loads of my favourite artists will be there, and it’s going to be an awesome festival this year. If I had one wish to be granted by a fairy godmother, and it couldn’t be anything like world peace etcetera, it might be that I could go to Coachella in April; it could potentially be the best road trip ever. I was a bit disappointed that Gnarls Barkley won’t be there this year, but others make up for their absence. Another über-exciting event that’s just around the bend is Break Forth this weekend. I’m in four workshops on marginalized people, and I’m super stoked to be able to work through issues surrounding this group of God’s children with like-minded people. Plus, Tony Campolo is speaking over the weekend, and The Newsboys will be in town on Sunday night. I loooove Tony Campolo, and while The Newsboys’ lead singer has worn mascara to every concert Jess and I have ever been to of theirs, they’re fun to hear live, and always sing the “Breakfast Song” at the end. I have to work Saturday morning, but will have the rest of the weekend to think and talk about God, sing and dance my heart out, and hang out with Jess, Crystal, and my parentiotas. God always challenges me so much through this conference, and it rivals retreats in levels of fun. Also, my dad just came back from Superstore with chocolate ice cream. January is a decidedly good month.

Cait’s Top 30 Moments from the Retreat
- camp songs and dances on Saturday morning
- only having to listen to one Dashboard Confessional song in the car
- communion on Saturday night
- discovering a giant wasp in my sleeping bag
- water polo (I almost got the ball from Matt C. one time)
- Melissa nearly being thrown into a snowbank
- a shoulder piggyback from Dusty
- playing Would You Rather with Crystal and Rob
- the stars in the absence of city light
- our “7-11” run to Westlock
- Rob not actually mooning us while driving in Brock
- the croissant I ate on Sunday morning
- synchronized swimming with Allan and Crystal
- Matt’s proposal to Dusty
- trying to figure out why there was a cellophane snowman on our porch
- unwrapping our cellophaned belongings (underwear and all)
- flutter-board tag in the pool
- waking Crystal up both mornings
- explaining our alarm clock prank to Rachel
- the sunrise on Saturday morning
- being stern with Jeremy and getting my slippers back
- defending the beleaguered newsletter with Andrew
- prank-plotting with Crystal and Melissa
- very nearly winning Apples to Apples (my winning card was so close to being picked)
- thinking we had to eat our meals with clothespins
- Crystal’s attempts to do flutter-board summersaults
- Mike’s Muslim Crusade Victim costume
- getting the silver medal twice in Cheat
- Matt’s “haircut”
- all of Saturday night’s Skittles game

Cait’s Top 30 Bands Coming to Coachella
- Arctic Monkeys
- The Decemberists
- The Kooks
- Klaxons
- Amos Lee
- Ratatat
- Damien Rice
- We Are Scientists
- Red Hot Chili Peppers
- Regina Spektor
- New Pornographers
- Gotan Project
- CocoRosie
- Andrew Bird
- The Fratellis
- The Frames
- Peter Bjorn
- Fountains of Wayne
- Kings of Leon
- The Cribs
- Mando Diao
- Tapes ‘n Tapes
- Kaiser Chiefs
- Explosions in the Sky
- Lily Allen
- Hot Chip
- Interpol
- Happy Mondays
- José González
- Tilly and the Wall



P.S. There are new pictures up on Flickr and a video on YouTube (shown above). Although the video was done haphazardly, it was too funny not to post. The hair will grow back, but the memories will last.
P.P.S. MSN is behaving cruel and unusually at the moment, so if I don't respond to your messages online, it's the fault of Microsoft. Approximately one third of my messages are being sent, and my relationship with MSN is certainly at a dysfunctional point. Hopefully after a brief cooling off period, we'll be able to restore our friendship.
P.P.P.S. TOMORROW THE ACADEMY AWARD NOMINATIONS ARE ANNOUNCED. THERE ARE VERY FEW THINGS MORE EXCITING IN LIFE THAN OSCAR NOMINATIONS. I'M GETTING UP EXTRA EARLY TO HEAR SALMA HAYEK DECLARE ALL THE NOMINEES.