Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Some New Classes, Some New Lessons Learned

To all of you fellow students, welcome back to another semester!

Well, I’ve been back at it as of Monday, and I’ve survived Winter Semester 2006 so far. Weeks go by incredibly quickly during school, but it honestly seems like ages since I was on campus. One of the most excellent aspects of this back-to-school week is book shopping. I met up with my buddy Crystal inadvertently in the bookstore on Monday and it was so much fun to look over all the Arts books she gets to read this term (I admit it: while I love Sciences, I often wish I could do a simultaneous Arts degree). We browsed through texts on photography, abstract art, philosophy of religion, and sociology of gender, and it just struck me that there is sooo much that I still have to learn and enjoy in this life, and God knows all of it (and infinitely more). It’s certainly comforting to know that through God’s grace I’ve got forever to mull over everything that I find beautiful and fascinating in this world, and even the things that won’t become clear to me until I’ve left this world. There are just so many books to read, and so few reading hours in my life. I would say that I’ve come to grips with my mortality, especially being a Christian, but any bitter feelings I hold related to death stem from the limit it puts on the number of books, films, bands, and plays I will be able to experience in this lifetime. Perhaps heaven will have a huge library, and great concerts every night.

Here's my favourite piece of artwork from my bedroom; it's a painting that my parents' got just after I was born, and so I've been enjoying it for as long as I can remember. I do enjoy abstract art immensely! Sometimes I wish that my room was bigger solely because it would mean that I could put up more paintings on my walls. I'm so excited to get my own place in a few years; I plan to plaster the walls with cool art and photos, and perhaps even get a red concrete floor in my kitchen, although there will definitely be some shag carpet and cork flooring somewhere in my house. The only problem is that whoever I am rooming with may have their own style (in fact this is quite likely!).

My devotions yesterday asked me to write a list of questions that I have for God. Although I have a perpetual dialogue with God about moral dilemmas and confusing theological questions, I don’t always write them down. So several pages later, I felt overwhelmed with my uncertainty about everything. He totally spoke to me through that exercise though, and I recognized that just as I can lift up prayer requests to Him, I can leave my puzzled thoughts with Him as well. I suppose I’m very cerebral in terms of how much I consider things, and I am frequently annoyed by not knowing an answer to a question that I have, but I see God teaching me to trust his knowledge in some areas of my thinking. Especially in muddy areas like homosexuality, abortion, and war, I struggle to come to grips with what God is telling me. The Bible is clear about acting on homosexual impulses and killing (which most Christians believe includes pregnancy terminations), but there are areas of gray around these issues that I think about a great deal. It’s not that I don’t believe that these things are wrong, but I don’t understand how Satan is using them or how exactly God wants me to react to them. It’s not that I don’t trust God’s moral authority; it’s just that I want to understand the moral reasoning, and I think my mind is too limited and coloured by the world to distinguish this reasoning.

I definitely believe that it is a sin to get an abortion or engage in a gay/lesbian relationship, but sometimes don’t understand how there’s such a clear cut moral line. Fetuses are essentially frogs until they are a couple of months old except for the DNA that lies in their cells, and most Protestants have no problem with birth control, so I do see the logic behind the beliefs of pro-choice Christians. We’re not killing a being that has any emotions yet, and if we’re ending a life that might have been, why do we support birth control within marriage? I do believe that God loves that fetus though, and ending it’s life is usually done out of selfishness. But does God love the zygote the moment that the sperm cell enters the egg; where is that line between cells and person drawn? My dad and I talk theology incessantly, and he believes that getting an abortion is wrong because of the principle; we’re perverting God’s plan for our life (and the fetus’) out of these self-serving motives. When it comes to homosexuality, most of my uncertainty surrounds where homosexual desires stem from. I know a Christian who used to deal with his gay desires, and overcame them, and now is married and has children, but I find it difficult to understand where these urges developed from. He was a strong Christian before he wrestled with this issue, so I don’t get why Satan would choose to target him with this temptation but not other men. My mom feels that a lot of people face their own homosexuality because they learn from society that it’s appropriate behaviour, but this man grew up in the church and never believed that being gay was alright. I just have to feel peace in there is a certain logic to all of this, but that I probably won’t understand it right now!

I’ve grown up with peers who have become gay as we grew older, and some of the parents of my sister’s and my friends are homosexual, and it’s with them that I struggle the most. These people are not the stereotypically prissy, promiscuous homosexuals that the zeitgeist or media caricature. Instead, the gay individuals who I know well are lovely, highly intelligent, and very warm people. On the other hand, nice personalities and braininess do not mean that someone’s behaviour will be morally correct. I guess my big concern with the Christian reaction to homosexuality is its acuteness. While many of my Christian friends have no problem watching films that portray excessive sex (outside of marriage, of course), and love movies that portray characters whose law-breaking behaviour (dangerous driving, stealing, even murder) is glorified, they refuse to even consider watching a movie like “Brokeback Mountain” which has no sex scenes and one completely passionless kiss. Not that I’m not promoting watching movies about gay relationships, but it does seem to me that we have a double standard when it comes to different sins.




















At a Christian conference I attended last year, one of the speakers from the Maritimes iterated his belief that Christians in Canada were spending a disproportionate amount of time opposing gay marriage compared to the amount of time we spent dealing with the millions of dying people in Africa, more than billion-people population that is malnourished, and billions of people that don’t know Jesus. While I believe that God created marriage for a man and woman, I don’t feel that I need the state to sanction my view of marriage, and I absolutely feel that the tragedy of the impoverished and oppressed around the world is of far greater proportions than the issue of gay marriage in Canada.

I’ve been going to the U of A bookstore with my dad since I was born, and it’s such a nostalgic spot for my sister and me. We would always buy our detective notebooks there (I always got the mottled green one with the university’s crest, and Jess would always pick out this navy one with fun folder pockets). The bookstore even used to have an amazing collection of TY beanie babies when Jess and I were super into them. It’s cool that I’m kind of appropriating my parents’ old digs on campus, and it’s also been neat to observe spots like HUB, SUB, and FAB evolve through my lifetime. I’m so blessed to be able to get my education, and totally relish the enrichment that my classes and the campus environment gives my life. If you ask me, one of the greatest things that God created in us is our ability to learn, whether it be about Him, ourselves, or the rest of creation.


















My profs have all been really great (intelligent, humourous, and kind) with the exception of my linguistics instructor, who is at times illogical and ignorant. Despite her being in a field devoted to the details of language, she stated in class today that people from China speak Chinese (when of course they speak Mandarin and Cantonese), and told us that if she can understand us, we can understand her through her French accent. While I can make out her English perfectly, what she said was entirely nonsensical; it’s like a toddler covering their eyes and believing that if they can’t see someone looking for them, the person searching for them will be unaware of their presence. Her lecture just seemed quite incoherent to me! She was trying to explain the difference between passive and active converses in class yesterday, and I actually had to put up my hand to explain the two because she was being so unclear. However, I do owe her respect for knowledge of linguistics, and maybe part of my frustration with her class is simply due to the language barrier. It is true though that the only profs who I haven’t loved were this French linguistics prof and my French calculus prof, both of whom have elitist views and little respect for the diversity of their students. I must remember to love them despite my irritation with them though!

I’m really too depressed about politics to open that can of worms more than a crack. The Conservatives might even get a majority! Even writing about this is causing tears to well up in my eyes (literally; I think I need to start taking politics less seriously). My brilliant, wise, and magnificent social teacher at Scona always made a point of reminding us that although democracy is an important privilege that we have a duty to exercise, the differences between parties in Canada are miniscule compared to those in other countries. While I believe that the Conservatives don’t love everyone (even though they should!), and some people will have harder lives as a result of their election, there are far more grave distinctions between political parties elsewhere. In South American countries, one leader might stand for the people, while a vote for the other would mean a restrictive dictatorship-style government. Even if we get a right-wing Prime Minister, my quality of life (and those of most other Canadians) will remain the same. I suppose my main issues that I can’t get over deal with how Canada would approach the rest of the world under a Conservative government.

Harper has strong ties to the States, and I just don’t want my country to be associated with the greedy, ignorant behaviour of the U.S. right now. I don’t care if that means that our economy suffers either; America has made so many decisions in the past two decades that helped no one but themselves and often came at the great expense of others. Their almost unilateral wars, abuse of Third World countries through tied-aid and unfair SAPs, and plans for Star Wars really alarm me. It’s not that I dislike Americans, or even Bush (and I certainly don’t hate others), it’s simply that their ignorance, and refusal to remedy their ignorance, aggravates me to no end. My parents just finished reading Gwynn Dyer’s latest book (not at the same time, but within a few days), and Dyer really demonstrates the motivation for so many of their recent reckless decisions to be clearly egocentric. America has repeatedly signed onto agreements, and failed to follow through in them; in 1996 they signed the CTBT to stop the dangerous testing of nuclear weapons, but failed to ratify or act on it in 1999; in 1998 they signed Kyoto, and have yet to ratify it; there are countless more instances of their hypocritical behaviour on the global stage. It’s most disconcerting that the U.S. is seen as the most Christian nation in the world, and I wouldn’t necessarily disagree with that, but their international affairs rarely respect a Christ-like love for others, and display a marked lack of empathy or sympathy.

On the web forum for the College and Career group at church, there was a post about the election, and of course I couldn’t help but join the discussion. One of the issues that came up was the fact that if Canada’s seemingly inefficient businesses, such as those in the automobile or agriculture industries, deliver goods at a more expensive price, we should just use those foreign goods. I must admit that other countries may come up with innovative ideas that allow them to be more efficient in their business, but if these improvements are significant, there’s nothing stopping us from appropriating them. I believe that the main reason that goods are cheaper from other places is the low cost of labour in the Third and Second World countries. I also believe that it is really unethical to support the maltreatment of workers that allows this minimal cost of labour, whether it be in sweat shops or farms and mines in other countries, and certainly avoid purchasing items from companies that allow this exploitation. Meeting our often-superficial desires through the employment of such unjust tactics is inherently selfish, and I really don’t believe that it’s at all necessary. The First World has a responsibility to encourage ethical treatment of workers, and support this with aid and direct assistance. But, that’s just my idealized, romantic view of how the world could work. The Western view of the world and our relation to it has progressed significantly in the past century, but we still have more strides to make. We may never (and probably won’t) reach this utopia of equality and accord, but it’s our prerogative to strive for this.

Peace, paix, pace, and shalom!

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

even if you haven't figured out the answers, Cait, it's great that you're actually considering these questions. God definitely speaks through our questioning and pondering, and being open-minded is certainly an asset. I hope linguistics will get better! keep up the thinking!

Anonymous said...

I miss going to the bookstore sooo much. If only we were still young and imaginitive, and could play spies again. Growing up stinks sometimes!

Cait said...

I try to be open-minded, but sometimes I'm incredibly stubborn, and dismiss any political view right-of-centre as crazy without necessarily considering it seriously. That's somehting for me to pray about! We could try playing spies Jess, but it could end up being slightly embarassing!