Sometimes life just feels ripe. Ripe with possibility, with beauty, and with truth. Summer is one of those seasons of life that is rich with all the best things in life, and the lack of school and related responsibilities make savouring life all the more trouble-free. School’s been “out for the summer” for a couple of weeks now, and it’s been a welcome change from four months of school, limited sunshine, and reading mainly textbooks and lecture notes. I got a stack of summer reading out from Rutherford last week, finished with taxes for another year, and enjoyed lots of lovely moments with friends and family. Even with the gruesomeness of allergies in this month of pollen and birch tree flowering, I’m kind of wishing that it were always summer. I’ve been reading through Joshua for the past couple of weeks, and was really challenged to trust God despite crummy things that friends were going through and my own ambivalence about where I wanted to work this summer. God asked Joshua and the Israelites to do some pretty crazy things (not just difficult, but seemingly insane things), and they trusted Him big time in spite of all the reasons they had to be skeptical and glum. Even when life is messy, I’ve learned that it really is best to give my worries and hopelessness up to God. It was hard to see how God would work through all the mess that I was struck by last month, but He totally did. My uncle’s recovering from successful surgery on his legs, dear old Brian has been in especially high spirits this month, and school and work have been treating Jen well this month. God’s worked through struggles that friends were facing last month, despite my finding it difficult to be hopeful about them, and although I don’t want my faith in God to depend on Him being overtly good and generous, it’s a blessing to see that He really is sooo good in ways that I can’t foresee.
Even shifts at the café, which I’d been fretting over, have worked out rather nicely; I’ll be working just Monday nights this summer, and will get about 40 hours a week (48 this week). I really wasn’t sure what I’d do this summer, and had scouted out some other jobs last month, but none of them were people jobs in the way that being a barista is, and I’m relieved that I can continue to nurture relationships that have grown over my time at the café. I love the friends that I work with so much; we bake for each other, go out for meals and shopping excursions together, and have some of my favourite conversations ever. I make relatively piddly money working at the café, but I’m kind of love that I can work somewhere for reasons besides earning money. I was talking with a friend a few weeks ago about prayer, and she was explaining me how she finds it strange to ask God for things when He might not even answer those prayers, and praying about God’s splendour and her own sin is much more appealing much of the time. Sometimes it’s easy for prayer to turn into a request bonanza rather than a dialogue with God, but it’s so freeing to give worries and concerns up to Him. Even if a prayer isn’t “answered,” it’s such a weight off my shoulders to leave something up to God, and realize that ultimately, He’s got the whole world in His hands, what I need to worry about mainly involves me living in a Kingdom-way, loving others, and loving God. I like to collect quotes in my journal, and my favourite find from last week was one that goes, “Everything is okay in the end. If it's not okay, then it's not the end.” How true that is. Life is hard, and messy, and confusing much of the time, but if I trust in Him, God’s will ultimately take care of me, and as Morrie would say, His love and justice and grace really will win in the end.
Although I’ve certainly found this post-school time of year to be lovely and amazing, it has definitely been detrimental to my vanity (which is likely a good thing). With the advent of allergies, my eyes have become puffy and resemble slices of Mandarin orange, while my legs are still rather bruised from a game of Grounders last weekend and I’ve avoided wearing skirts and shorts over the last while. Plus, I got my first black eye ever on Saturday, which was both exciting and strange. My grandparents are slightly concerned about the nature of the fun that I have with friends from our new church, I think, and customers are undoubtedly going to make fun of my shiner today and insinuate that I had a drunken fight over the weekend. Plus, the runniness of my nose and frequency of my sneezing can’t come to an end soon enough. I had a detailed dream last night in which I was doing research on sneezing. When I have dreams centred entirely around sneezing, my nose has clearly had enough of stifled achoo-ing. I like flowers and birch trees a great deal, but I kind of despise the pollen that accompanies them. Fortunately, I think that allergies will cease and desist in the next couple of weeks, and my face will return to relative normalcy. Besides the impending end of allergies, I’m also looking forward to football in one month, my parents’ trip to New York in two months, and a smattering of concerts over the next little while. Folk Fest tickets go on sale in three weeks, and Crystal’s promised to come on for one day, and hopefully I’ll lure in a few others to join in the fun. While it’s hard to beat the excitement of concerts, I’m even more elated by my grandparents’ return to their home and native land, and the upcoming 6 birthday bash and simultaneous Mother’s Day celebration Sunday night. I hadn’t seen Grandma and Grandpa for more than a month, and I was happy to see them at a lunch that I thought I’d missed the boat on yesterday. I’m fairly certain that my grandma and I are kindred spirits; we share a fondness for matters of correctness, both dislike cats, and laugh together for extended periods of time when we’re together. I’d missed them a lot, and my grandpa more than made up for his absence by telling dozens of bad jokes yesterday. I love them and Jess/Mom/Dad more than anything else, and I’m glad that they’re back just in time for summer fun.
I should likely be off now to pack a supper for tonight’s closing shift and to finish some laundry and reading, but I’ll write something worthwhile in the next week perhaps. Small group has agreed to read the splendid Velvet Elvis, as has Matt, and potentially Rob (what powers of persuasion I have!), so I’m sure that will generate some cogitation-worthy lines of thought. I started Annie Lamott’s latest book yesterday, and I’m enjoying it more than I thought I would; she’s rough around the edges, but writes with wisdom and honesty. I’m sure that her writing will send me off on some tangential ruminations as well. I’ve mostly finished the Oliver! review, Caitlin (it was a gooder; John Ulyatt made an appearance, and PJ Perry was in the pit), so I’ll finish it up after work tomorrow and send it off via email. I’m still sad that you missed it, but if anything could top Oliver! for you, it would, of course, be traveling to another country. Liz Nichols aptly noted that, “John Ullyatt, the Citadel’s favourite leading man, ... stops all stage traffic by his mere presence.” Fingers crossed that he stars as the beast in Beauty and the Beast next season. I’m off to finish some laundry and reading and vacuuming before work tonight, but I hope that you’re all finding this almost-summer season to be ripe, whether you’re in Deadmonton or some lovely other place!
Soundtrack for Cait's Summer
- Mika
- Peter Bjorn & John
- Feist
- Patrick Watson
- Beirut
- Alexi Murdoch
- Corinne Bailey Rae
- Modest Mouse
- Nouvelle Vague
- Rogue Wave
- Beck
- Of Montreal
- Jack Johnson
- Can You Say Indie? Vol 1-3
- Queen
- Rosie Thomas
- Thomas Newman
- Super Furry Animals
- Sufjan Stevens
- Broken Social Scene
Summer Preoccupations
- lots and lots and lots of festival fun
- laze around at the leg (pronounced lej)
- nighttime adventures in the country
- go camping
- walks in the river valley at sun rise
- cloud watch and star gaze
- Eskies football (I picked up my tickets last month; I am planning on forcing some of you to come to several games with me and Jess)
- cry and dance at concerts
- take up jogging (perhaps)
- use the paddle boats in Hawrelak
- take pictures
- Velvet Elvis with small group
- late-night walks
- road trip with dear friends
- BBQs with the familia
- improve upon my crocheting skills
- watch movies in Crystal's backyard (it has always rained when we've attempted to do this in the past)
- bake and cook dee-licious creations
- Arrested Development marathon
- swinging with friends
- people watch on the patio at work
- airport and spandex escapade
- devise a way to vacuum pollen out of the air
- river valley escapades
- caaamping
- convince Mom to let me get a lizard
- Rocky Balboa meets the Albertan Legislature
- practice guitar
- coffee/tea/lunch with amigos
- read a decent chunk of the books in Rutherford
- have plenty of picnics
- journal
- play Bruce Cockburn the Guitar
- go golfing in plaid and argyle outfits
- Star Wars night with Crystal and Ben (et al.)
- Grounders and other playground shenanigans
- dance in the rain
