Growing up as a Christian, I’ve heard more than a thousand sermons in my life, and have come across an awful lot of theological concepts and contentions. I love learning about God, but I think some things have to be felt and experienced to become part of one’s reality. I can hear something, and believe it to be true, but sometimes it’s not totally internalized until I recognize on my own. Being told something I acknowledge as true is not equivalent to knowing it in my heart (however cheesy that sounds). I’ve been reading through Job this week, and my devotions have emphasized the wisdom that Job gained through his extreme misfortune. Job’s life is such a great illustration of gaining wisdom experientially. In the midst of a brutally harsh time, friends brought him the advanced knowledge of their time in an effort to help him through his pain. This knowledge, however, was insufficient to alleviate his heartache. As one writer puts it, “Having hit the bottom of depression, Job begins to limp towards the light as he realizes that there are some questions we can never fully answer on a human level. What saves Job is not a philosophical breakthrough, but a fresh and life-changing encounter with the God he thought had abandoned him.”
This has been true for me over the past few months as well, not that I was anywhere near depression. A few years ago, a study was conducted on the group of people that psychologists refer to appropriately as “very happy people.” There’s definitely a genetic predisposition to acute happiness (it has to do with dopamine and other fun neurotransmitters), and I’m pretty sure that Jess and I have at least some of these genes. Thus, I’m not used to being less than pretty cheerful most of the time, like I was for some of last term. My job was getting increasingly ludicrous while I simultaneously felt so weighed down trying to keep up with school, family, volunteering, church, friends, my relationship with God, and improving my mind and character. I would read something in my Bible or a favourite book that I normally would have found delightful, but didn’t get that much out of it. I was generally content, but it took energy for me to be truly joyful, and I felt stagnant and stunted spiritually. Like most rough patches, though, this time passed, and I learned so many things deep down as God brought me back to my normal self. As much as I read, discuss, and brood over things, it’s only through God that the truth is really instilled in me, just as it was for Job around 4,000 years ago. I love that our God is so steadfast and unchanging as the source (and embodiment) of truth.
Over the weekend, I was at a session on preaching to the postmodern mind, and the speaker emphasized the value of walking alongside the church as opposed to preaching at them. Rather than simply telling this “postmodernal” generation what it means to walk a Christian journey, actually journeying beside them and wrestling with questions and struggles allows the church to be a relevant and authentic community. This community, Dr. Bob suggests, needs to be willing to acknowledge Sometimes it seems as if Christians shy away from asking questions, and being OK with not knowing the answers to some of those questions. Rob Bell writes, “A Christian doesn’t avoid the questions; a Christian embraces them. In fact, to truly pursue the living God, we have to see the need for questions. Questions are not scary. What is scary is when people don’t have any. What is tragic is faith that has no room for them… A question by its very nature acknowledges that the person asking the question does not have all of the answers. And because the person does not have all of the answers, they are looking outside of themselves for guidance. Questions, no matter how shocking or blasphemous or arrogant or ignorant or raw, are rooted in humility. A humility that understands that I am not God. And there is more to know.” Bell goes on to describe Abraham’s questioning of God, and points out that instead of getting angry, God seems to engage with Abraham all the more. Perhaps God desires us to be people who don’t just sit there and mindlessly accept whatever comes their way.
It was once said, “People need to be reminded more often than they need to be instructed.” How true that is sometimes. A lot of my growth as a Christian has simply been applying already-gained knowledge. At times, I begin to feel like the rest of my walk with God is looking at the same facts in a different light, and living out what I already know to be true more fervently. This makes me sad because one of my super-duper favourite things to do is to learn. Thankfully, God consistently shows me that I’m a piddly-brained squat, and there are many more lovely and beguiling things to stuff into my little mind. I have dozens of pages of notes in my journal from Break Forth filled with ideas and stories that are fresh to me, and remind me that there’s no limit to how much I can grow (spiritually at least; I stopped growing physically at the age of 19). I find it so encouraging to think of the rest of my life as an opportunity to constantly be learning and applying what I learn. I love words with “en” prefixes: encourage, enchant, enamour, engender, enliven, encompass, endure, enwrap, enjoy, enable, encapsulate…). These words depict actions of actively creating some sort of state, whether it is one of liveliness, love, joy, etcetera. I strive to engage in some of these en- words, but also to experience them.
My devotions last weekend took me to 2 Kings and the story of Elisha en-couraging his servant with truth and prayer. It’s not so much that encouragement is just making someone feel better and rosy about a difficult situation, but rather it’s giving them courage to face that situation. I don’t know that my life is going to be all smooth sailing, and I’m almost certain that it won’t be, but I do know that God will encourage me through anything and everything. He’ll give me the courage to trust in Him, to do something bold, to put my fears and concerns into His hands, to be honest and vulnerable about where I’m at, and to have joy despite my circumstances. With this courage, I can step past my fears and have faith that God will be there through it all, and that most of the things that I am fearful about have only ephemeral significance. There’s something so powerful about the power of the Bible and prayer to encourage. I don’t buy into the idea that our painful moments are a result of God shaping our character and teaching us a lesson; maybe some of these times are directly from God, I can’t be sure. But Genesis 3 tells us that it’s because of our sin that we experience anguish and discouragement. I do know, however, that God can use our hardships to build our character and teach us lessons, and I know with certainty that He wants us to know His encouragement and love in these times.
Despite not feeling tired at the current moment, it’s time that I make the short journey over to my pillows. My body has realized that it’s a 20-something in the past few months, and correspondingly has decreased my propensity for nonsomnia. I’ve adapted surprisingly well to needing more sleep, I must say, but it still feels absurd to go to bed when I feel like reading or dancing or writing. I was exhausted for most of today, but got a pretty decent second wind after watching the incredibly entertaining American Idol auditions in Los Angeles. There’s nothing like the mortification of deluded American singers to revive one’s spirit (in truth, it’s kind of pathetic that I enjoy watching people embarrass themselves, but it’s absolutely hilarious). My parent’s small group isn’t meeting at our house for once, so our usual Wednesday night cleaning was deemed unnecessary. As a consequence, our basement remains in a state of sorry disarray; I’ll have to tend to it before heading off to school tomorrow. On the tangent of walks to school, the snow was just beautiful today. The snowflakes were the size of Cheerios at one point, and it’s refreshing to have a fresh coat of snow on the ground, although poor Jess had to scrape off all the University-student-trampled snow on our front walk. As a final unelegant segue, I shall mention that my courses right now are pretty much awesome with the exception of my evolutionary psych class with the disdainful Dr. Snyder. Who yells at people for reading at the beginning of class? Who states outrightly that Christianity is wrong? Who believes that any “good” human act is in some way a selfish act? Dr. Snyder, that’s who. I’m grateful that most profs are infinitely more kind and open-minded and sanguine.
Some Break Forth ’07 Thoughts (Lots! Rhymes with Thoughts!)- God’s justice for all people is not retribution; it’s mercy and grace (resultingly, He wants us to care well for the people who God says are precious)
- the more I read about God, the less I know for sure, but the more I know God
- Jesus is quite literally the way; He is the journey, the road we walk on, the path that we follow (not just the destination)
- Christians don’t save anyone; He sends us out to the world because that’s where He will meet us
- He sends us out into the world because that’s where the Kingdom is; when Jesus said “the Kindgdom is near” He didn’t only mean that in a temporal sense, but in the sense that it’s right here, close enough to touch, and He’ll meet us there
- just as Christ was Jesus in human form, so too is Christ in us; thus, He says to us just as He said to Jesus, “you are my child, I love you, and am pleased with you”
- “you are my child” we love when we see parts of ourselves in our children, and it is the same with us
- as children of God, God delights in seeing His truth, His beauty, His love, His justice, His mercy… in our lives
- “I love you” God IS love, and just as He loves an alcoholic homeless person, so too does He love us, and we learn this “out there”
- “I am pleased with you” we bring God immense pleasure, He gives us stuff knowing full well that we’ll abuse it because of His grace (Derek with the $1000 that he frittered away in Vancouver)
- St. Ignatius and Paul teach to end the day with a “prayer of examination” where we end the day seeing what we did well (Christians rarely do this; we’re encouraged to feel guilty and not reinforce ourselves)
- we are free from condemnation in Christ – when we’re full of the Holy Spirit
- the tension of seeing our faults leads us to two possible conclusions (a) get rid of God in our reality (b) repent and live corresponding to God’s ways
- there is a cognitive dissonance (between what we do and what we want to do)
- in prayer, we should indeed make our requests known to God, but first and foremost we need to “centre down on Jesus”
- the difference between quietness and stillness is subtle but considerable
- Phil 3:13-14 with the presence of Christ in you, you can press onwards
- we are not what we were (thankfully), we are not we’re going to be, but we’re pressing onwards
- let in the affirming, cleansing, purifying Christ
- the feeling of guilt is at the heart of religion (not Christianity)
- Tony as a runner lacked will and strength, but when the Spirit is in you, the Spirit works in you
- don’t condemn yourself, don’t focus on the dark sides of humanity, but instead let the Spirit come into you and empower you
- like Cait, he doesn’t like praying publicly; it’s hard to be aware of what you’re saying to Jesus while you’re talking to others
- “if you wait on the Lord, He will renew you” (strength) and “in quietude and stillness He will come to you” (let Him invade, penetrate, saturate; it is then that He will empower you “to will and to do His good pleasure”)
- when we know we’re a child of God, we know His importance, His significance, His value
- He is our Abba, we have that intimacy with Him; we become an heir of God when Christ is in us, and we feel the things that Jesus feels
- we feel heartbroken for those who are broken, we see others as God does; we inherit His feelings for others, His compassion, sense of justice, love, understanding
- when we were born, we were predestined to do great and wonderful things, the destiny prescribed for us is carved out: the question is, are we going to live it out?
- when you get involved in ministry, you change, you sense God’s presence
- “praxis” is the dialectic of how what we do conditions what we believe, but similarly, what we think and believe influences what we do (the zealous Christian fakers who became actual zealous Christians)- the friend who did loving things for the disgusting Arthur Forbes was seduced into loving Arthur Forbes
- “I don’t mind being a Christian up to a point…” do we want our lives to mean something? we might be believers, but are we disciples?
- Satan believes in Jesus; we have to let Christ come in and surrender, allow ourselves to call him Abba
- the Bible is full of calls for social justice; it’s our duty as Christians to work towards the end of racism, poverty, sexism…
- in a certain sense, the Beatitudes say blessed are those who strive for justice
- a Christian must be committed to love and justice (there are 2,000 verses about doing good for the poor)
- evangelical means: we adhere to the doctrines of the Apostle’s Creed and have a very high view of Scripture (we see it as an error-free book), and believe in the inner transformation of mind and heart and soul by letting Christ into your life
- Charles Finney invited “the invitation” to the front of the sanctuary, but less known is the fact that he got the anti-slavery movement and the feminist movement started (the first feminist meetings were held in churches in Niagra, NY)
- Finney would say that if someone didn’t sign up for either the anti-slavery movement or the feminist movement, that they weren’t being very serious about Jesus (how true!)
- churches are often set up to prepare us to die, but Jesus wasn’t about that; He prayed “let Your will be done on Earth as it is in Heaven”
- we must define the Kingdom of God
- sometimes we do one or the other: transform people or transform society
- prayer is not informing God, but making requests know to God (but as Romans 8 reminds us, the Holy Spirit repackages what we say – don’t be afraid to make a stupid prayer)
- Kierkegaard warned to beware of what you pray for; God isn’t a transcendental Santa
- the Reformation established that we’re saved by grace, not by good works, but we left a lot of good things behind, some of which are ideas about prayer such as the prayer of examination
- Protestantism is really into beating people up, there’s often a sado-masochistic relationship between a speaker and their audience
- however, only when we’re affirmed are we able to handle the wrong we’ve done, and then (and only then) go through the day confessing, and He will forgive you and cleanse you
- my sins are forgiven (done in the past on a cross) but cleansing is what Jesus does to you in the present tense in your life
- “I Am” He always is, all of time is present tense for Him, all time is compressed into His eternal now
- when Jesus was on the cross, He was comprehending now; He was contemporaneous with now; He can empathize with us right here and now
- He who knew no sin became sin on the cross; that’s why it was so painful for Him: He who loathes sin had all sin transferred to Him and conversely His righteousness to us
- we must keep in mind that sin isn’t covered by “cheap” grace; it pains Jesus for us to sin (it’s free, but very much the opposite of cheap)
- John 14-15 He will be in us
- Christ has always been, He was incarnated in Jesus; the same way that the Spirit was in Jesus, so too will Jesus be in us
- our bodies are the temple of the Lord, it’s a dirty temple; we don’t choose Him, He chose us; the Holy Spirit fills us when we are cleansed (Romans 1: anyone who says it’s a choice is stupid, though not bad)
- when a person becomes spiritually actualized, the thoughts and feelings of Jesus become real in you
- the fact that we’re all so safe in church and our faiths today indicates that something is wrong (Romans 8 again – faith is not just a ticket to Heaven!)
- two sets of values in our society are in diametrical opposition, but far too often the church has tried to synthesize them: the worldly quest for status and reputation, and the Christ-like rejection of status and worldly ambitions
- Mark 10, 1 John 3:17-18, Phillippians 2 (Jesus made Himself of no reputation, there is no question that Jesus would never own a BMW, we need to stop justifying lifestyle choices such as these
- the lifestyle of affluence is so counter to what Jesus taught; we need to embrace a simple lifestyle instead
- as the Quakers say, “Live simply so that others can simply live”
- there’s absolutely nothing wrong with making a lot of money (excepting ethics, etcetera), but there is something wrong with keeping it
- piety isn’t what Jesus wanted for us – Romans tells us to clothe our enemies, overcome evil with good: it’s not that Christianity has been tried and failed, but it’s been tried and been found to be difficult
- the Mark and Luke Beatitudes differ on the way “poor” is described; in one, it’s “poor in spirit” (those without Jesus, those with weak spirits), while in another, it’s “poor” as in without wealth (those with physically very little)
- Jesus desires for us to pursue both of these aims
- “blessed are those that mourn” for the poor, for the boys watching you eat your meal, for those who have gotten the short end of the stick
- “blessed are the meek” we cannot change the world by coercion, otherwise Jesus would have come as a Caesar; He wasn’t about gaining power (this can’t be done through political action, unlike what many Christians in North America believe)
- when we vote, we don’t represent Jesus, we try to be spirit-led; saying otherwise is untrue, and self-centred
- Jihadists aren’t acting out in the name of politics, but rather they’re doing these things in the name of religion
- it comes down to living out the Sermon on the Mount
- George Bernard Shaw once said “God created man in His image, but so often Americans have done the reverse” (how true)
- the idea of hating the sin, and loving the sinner gets it wrong; hate your own sin (deal with the beam in your own eye)
- I'm sick of typing now, and this list has reached a ridiculous length; will perhaps finish in the next entry
P.S. I’m having paranoid imaginings of serial killers in my basement right now. Jess is asleep and I’m too afraid to go scope out the serial killer situation in the family room. However, typing this out and seeing how silly it looks is reassuring in some way. Hopefully I will be alive tomorrow morning.
P.P.S. Tony Campolo is a beautiful, beautiful man.
P.P.P.S. Someone just walked past my window (like right in front of it), and it wasn't anyone who lives in my house. They definitely fit the profile of a serial killer. Aaaaah!
