As Dan Wilson states in the title of one of his songs, “what a year for a new year.” As of late, there’s been a quasi-backlash against the concept of this arbitrary day that signals the beginning of another year as being significant as a time for a fresh start. It’s been proven that resolutions are rarely ever achieved, and there’s no real difference between 11:59:59 on December 31 and 12:00:00 of January 1, but I just adore the sense of today being a clean slate. Yes, I’ve made a couple of New Year’s resolutions, and especially since I turned 20 (gasp) two weeks ago, I certainly feel like I’m turning over a new page.
So, for accountability purposes of course, I’ll share my soon-to-be-broken aspirations for the next twelve months. Although I’ve always been pretty obsessed with going to plays, movies, concerts and the like, my chief resolution for 2006 is to be culturally enriched. I’ve even made out a to-do list for the year (go to a gallery every two months, two concerts a month, do some photography at least once a week, etc.). I’m also striving to be more physically active; while I walk absolutely everywhere, and feel relatively fit, some parts of my body are noticeably lacking exercise. Specifically, my arms are still as gangly as ever despite my being done growing. I was carrying the heavy coffee grind bag out to the garbage with Colleen today and it was quite the struggle (for those who don’t know, the grind garbage at work is heavier than my eMac that I’m typing this on, but I still should be able to lift it). However, I refuse to lift weights, so I’m trying to speed along my Dad and sister’s plans to take up racquetball, since solo-racquetball would not be the best workout. I’m also going to do some more cross-country this year, starting with a trip to Banff for a few days on Tuesday, and am thinking about getting a stationary bike, although I’m not sure how I’d fit it in my little bedroom.
Of course, the most important resolutions that I should have would involve striving to be more Christ-like, but I feel like making that a goal for 2006 would kind of belittle that aspect of my life. The Christian journey is definitely a marathon, and I'm hopefully always moving forward towards my eventual destination. My devotions have been focusing on the importance of scripture in the past couple of days, and the substitutes that so many of us use for God's Word are especially apparent at this time of year. Peoples' (including mine) resolutions attempt to bring them happiness from ungodly sources, whether through improved appearance and an ideal weight, financial success, or finding that special someone. All the art, theatre, and music I consume will ultimately mean very little to God unless I use them to glorify Him.
While He created us to enjoy life and make the most of our time here, we alone will never be able to achieve the peace that Jesus provides us with. Because of the Fall we really can't experience true joy on our own, and I don't think I'll experience pure, complete joy until I reach heaven. I also know that God has a far greater purpose for my life than my own happiness, but it's so easy for me to get wrapped up in my hedonism and selfishness. What often feels like a natural impulse to serve my desires is a lie that Satan perpetuates in my life. Although I feel fortunate to live in this time of unprecendented freedom and prosperity, it can be difficult to remain focused on the things that matter when capitalism relies on the fallacy that it is right to always pursue one's self-interests. There's certainly a fine balance between enjoying the gift of life from God and not abusing it.
My dad broke the headphone jack on his iPod just before break, and just got a new black iPod video for himself, and it’s seriously awesome. I’m totally considering getting one since mine’s almost two years old now and I can’t fit my over 20 days of music on its 15 gigs anymore. I just checked, and I’ve got 27.78 GB in my iTunes, so the video iPod could accommodate two of my iTunes libraries (yay)! When one considers that I’m getting my $400 cheque from Ralph pretty soon, this just might be a possibility. Over Christmas, I listened to tons of my classic Christmas albums (Charlie Brown with Vince Guaraldi, Maybe this Christmas and its sequels, Low’s Christmas Songs, Bright Eyes’ A Christmas Album, Chrismukkah, Devendra Banhart), but balanced them out with some non-holiday records.
In the last week, I’ve been concentrating on Cat Power, Art Brut, The Clientele, The Like, The Mendoza Line, Red House Painters, Rogue Wave, and Pete Yorn. It was incredibly exciting when all of my favourite music sites came out with their “best of the year” lists (all my faves fared well, fortunately), but now the writers are on break and I’ve had no musical criticism to digest recently except from The Guardian. Hopefully Pitchfork will start up again pretty soon, and I should buy the latest NME when I’m at Chapters tomorrow. Speaking of which, I think I’ll write a list of my current top web sites (mainly for posterity’s sake). They're now linked in the sidebar!Alright, so getting back to Christmas, I hope everyone had a blast (and still are). I scored this year with my turntable, records to accompany the turntable, a multitude of books, a few albums, and iTunes gift certificates. It’s now the post-Christmas time of year when I’m thrilled and nervous to be entering a new term, and savouring time off while looking forward to meeting new people and learning new things in school, church, with friends, and at work. I’ve been working a bit extra during Christmas because lots of girls went home over the holidays, and I’ve had my fill of 5:30 opens at the café. It’ll definitely be nice to have class at 10:00 MWF and 9:30 TR during winter term, and it means I’ll be at the café at 5:30 just on Saturdays, which is ideal.
I would love to talk politics right now, but I’ve been engaging in deep political conversations all break, and the latest reaction to the allegations regarding Goodale’s office and the leadership of the three party’s has been quite disconcerting to me. As I become increasingly frustrated with capitalism, it seems as though I become increasingly aggravated with politicians who share my views on economics and philanthropy. While most of the academics in poli sci at school are staunch supporters of left-wing politics, the politicians on that side of the spectrum are not always so intellectual. Terry Milewski did a report on Layton a couple of weeks ago, and Layton’s response to the issues of Quèbec sovereignty and national unity were shockingly wishy-washy. I’m still not decided on who I’ll vote for. I’m not sure if I can see the very compassionate Jack as a strong PM, and I am becoming more and more disillusioned with Liberal policy. And I shouldn't get started on Steven Harper, his eerie eyes, and his Conservatives.
I’m falling asleep as I write this, and need to get up bright and early tomorrow morning, so I’d better wrap this up. I’ll leave you with some (perhaps confusing) questions I’ve been mulling over in the past couple of days and maybe come back to them in an entry later this week. Hopefully you’ll understand what I’m saying; it’s always tricky to communicate what exactly is on one’s mind. First of all, is God’s morality about cost-benefit analysis or absolute principles? What about my personal morality? If one person had a gun and was about to shoot two others, would I decide to murder the shooter because it would mean less death? In instances of war, how much suffering (maybe not even death, maybe just torture/persecution/oppression) justifies invading a nation and killing people? Can such suffering be quanitified so that engagement in war could be evaluated as appropriate or not? Would Jesus have fought in a war or pulled a gun on Saul (pre-Paul) if he saw him murdering other Christians? It's sometimes difficult to imagine exactly WWJD.
I've also been pondering why music would evolve in humans? How does God speak to Christians who I disagree with so strongly on issues of politics, such as George Bush, when I feel convicted that they are wrong? What does being a Christian feminist mean? When will I run out of room for my books (I just bought a new bookshelf, and I already filled it up last night)? How does the Holy Spirit affect our thoughts when our brains are so chemically based (does He affect our neurons, or is thought much deeper than science finds it to be)? I think these ponderings are pretty incoherent, but it’s what I’ve been contemplating while listening to The Stars and falling asleep. As an aside, The Stars are coming on February 5 to Dinwoodie and Jess and I can’t wait! Pictured here are my new drainpipe jeans from Builty by Wendy that I got with my Christmas dress and sailor belt. Our basement couch has a cover that's too short (as you can see in the picture), and it drives me bonkers! My sister will gladly tell you how obsessed I am with fiddling with the couch cover. The jeans have a big embroidered dreamcatcher on the back, and are super comfortable! Sorry about the insane length of this entry. I resolve to be more concise later on (though we all know what they say about resolutions).Hugs and smooches! XOXO
